Anisia

Once a bitch, forever a bitch.

2011-08-26T01:23:00.003+08:00

Back to blogging.

Im too lazy to upload all the photos right here.

Recently, theres a bitch calling the kettle back.

& i really can't wait to get her out of my sight, seriously.

Theres inside joke of this women, which only 'we' know about it.

I don't know why the money she stole, we have to pay half half each.

Seriously, its not even our fault.

Even ladyboss says she can't stand her, keeps take advance & advance.

& she even says she wants to fire her.

I won't go to the extend to hate someone and critize them online.

Unless they really irritate me so much, that they are twisting the story infront of their friend.

Why should i change shift with her?

Before i start working there, she was already working midnight shift,

she choose it herself. & i was already on morning shift when i switch to full-timer.

Im not like an owl like you, get the fact right.

She calls me a kid, which i won't deny.

At least im like so much younger then her.

Really want to asks her to stfu, why don't she have the nerve to comfront me?
Instead of venting the anger on her online web.

Hope she faster change her job so i really won't have such people revolving around me.

Whats the point of wearing a mask & live everyday?

Im not responsible for any part-timer late.

Give me extra pay la, then i pester them every morning to be puntual.

Damn lame, seriously.
Its their own life leh, hello auntie.

Don't push the blame to me, unless you tell me you don't late also lor.

Like in life, no one is perfect for goodness sake.

People do mistake. Unless you tell me you're fucking perfect?

Reflect yourself into the mirror first?

At least i've the money to do what i want, i don't have to take advance pay forever to complete my desire. :O Opps!

-giggle-

Okay la. I don't want my post to be polluted by her.

Am hitting to BKK with bbyboy & friends probably on Oct or December.

Before bby gets enlisted.

& im happy with how my life is right now, But it will be even happier without that bitch.

(Y)

Waiting for bby to end work to come home right now.

Shall go dota with co.
Baibai.

Forever 18th.

2011-08-16T10:29:00.003+08:00

Happy 18th Birthday To Me.

Had a blast with my girls & bbyboy on the 14th @ Jurongpoint. Settled down our dinner @ Ichiban Sushi. Grab this photo from facebook that Rui had tagged me. Haven't manage to upload all the photos we took that day yet as im real busy with work in the morning & sleep in the night. & Im statisfied with all the birthday present i had received.

Espicially that night when the clock strike 12am, Nicky&co came up to my house & surprised me with a birthday cake. I thought i was going to go through my 18th without a cake.

Though i can say, this year's celebration was really a simple one but at least i celebrated it with all my loves.

Once again, thanks to those who had wished me on

facebook ; twitter ; messages ; calls ; whatapps.

for those whom had wish me on facebook, i apologize that im lazy to reply or like the post.

Will upload all the photos we took soon & I'll be updating my blog regulary, as promised.

This is for you.

2011-07-03T12:17:00.002+08:00

Acyx

020111 - 020711.

Thanks for this half a year of memories together with you.

You told me we have more reasons for not being together

then to be compare with those reasons for being together.

Be it if i was really damn demanding,
Be it if its you who can't meet up to my expectation.

You told me times & times that we're over, But i kept holding on to this because i know there is hope. I know that you were just venting your anger by saying those.

This time round,
I know its going to be no joke anymore.

I thought you will be the one whom is going to accept my ugly past,

Be my pillar to support on no matter whatever that seems crashing down on me.

You told me

We have decided to walk our own path.

Probably because you're chasing back for your past.

I know i should not have know that you've took the first step to get her back.

Whatever i've done, Whatever i've say,

Was not being appreciated, It was took as a judgement towards you.

It was took as a nagging done by me.

All i want was you to understand what is more important.

Maybe from the start, i should not have know anything at all.

When you started to asks me to stop giving a damn towards you,

I know the worst would be coming.

Everyday i stay at home, wondering how was your day without me.

But have you ever spare a thought for me?

Instead of going for your enjoyment,

Did you asks if i needed your accompany ? Have you ever thought that i was afraid of lonely?

Sometimes i really wish i would be more important than them.

We started out as secondary school classmate from the age of secondary 1 till 2.

We then become hi-bye friends by secondary 3-4.

We started being stranger after graduation.

We headed to club together on 2010 June.

You started meeting me, telling me about your past with your ex.

I was there consoling you & give every advice i could to make you move on.

Friends tease me that you've fallen for me.

I rejected you twice.

I accepted you during 02 January outside my place.

You started being with me for 24hours after 2months.

I have you hugging me to sleep, pampering me everyday without fail.

You woke up early in the morning just to accompany me to work.

You went to takeover my shift just to let me sleep more.

You make sure i do shopping whenever i want to.

Whenever you're asleep, i would disturb you to wakeup to accompany me down for supper.

We can argue like babies and fight like a adult.

We went overseas during May & we even thought of more infuture.

You told me you're willing to accept my uglypast.

You promise to pamper and give in to me after i had my operation more often.

Its all gone.

我想你已表现的非常明白, 我懂我也知道你没有舍不得

Thanks for making everything so clear for me.

Wish you all the best even if its the past that you're after for now.

Rui, Cai, Huang.

2011-06-12T11:28:00.003+08:00

This post is dedicate to the both of them.

Though time has really been passing by real fast,
But i hope our bond are still there.
Though we've drifted far apart, everyone has their own life, friends.
But i believe we will still be there for each other when we need.
How i wish i can really turn times back,
Stop the time & still have fun @ eachother place.
Sleepingover and have our h2h talk @ huang's bed.
Always hitting down to boatq for a drink whenever 1 is sad,
Always meeting up each other's need if its possible.
I remember, how we always pat eachother's back whenever we're vomiting.
How Rui forgotten to bring her housekey after drinking and i've to cab all the way back to Ave5 to fetch her to my place.
How we cried on eachother's shoulder.
I remember how you both accompanied my ups and down. Esp during last year feb - march.

Im glad that Huang has found her happiness.
Hope she really do last long, Hope that guy treat her well.
Remember, im still your listening ears,
Im still there for a hug, a shoulder,
Just give me a call after July ( when i full recover )
I will be there in a few minutes.
Like how you rushed down to my place everytime just to lend me a shoulder.
How you accompanied me to Westcoast just to relax myself.
How we run to boatq to drunk ourself,'
How you tookcare of me when im drunk, how you ensure my safety.
We've never really argued or should i say, we only had 1 misunderstanding.
Thats all.
I believe we're strong, I know you can uphold your r/s well.
I will be there for you, Huang.

As for Rui,
Hope you've really grown up and be more mature k.
Heard you've fell in love recently,
Better don't be like the past anymore alright.
Your heart is so fragile, Must take of care it, Don't anyhow let guys break it.
Remember, we're still here for you no matter what.
Don't alittle alittle bit jiu angry k.
Haha, & rememeber dun always keep things to yourself.
Remember, im still always here <3

I hope we can be like the past real soon. ):

Family love.

2011-05-19T01:18:00.014+08:00

2008.

2009

2010

& here we're in Hongkong,

2011.

When we're @ Singapore's Airport.

& Here it is.

@ Macau's Airport.

This is my stupid, annoying & irritating 2nd brother.

He look childish ;/

Hongkong was kinda fun. I really love the Eggtarts over there.

Its extremely different from Singapore.

Here is Daddy & I enjoying the eggtart. Its my 3rd piece i guess. Haha.

& let me show you some cute photo that my daddy was trying to do while im playing with the DSLR.

Did you manage to figured out what he was trying to do?

Idk as well, I bet his trying to get into the photo, thats all.

Do not scroll down if you're not interested anymore. ^.^

Daddy suddenly had his hair all grown out.

:O !

While i cut my hair.

Though it seems alittle unbearable to cut away & snap away those years of longhair.

I finally brought up my guts to do so.

HAHAHAHA!
Believe me if you want then.

@ Macau, We went to vist this.

Which idk what is this name. But i didnt take the effort to climb all the way up.

Because my kneecap has been giving me problem throughout the whole trip.

): I didnt get to enjoy!

& here is what you guys are excited.

OUR HOTEL ROOM CAN BE SEEN THROUGH TO OUR TOILET.

Omgomgomg.
But im smart, I went to my parent's room to take a bath.

Hahaha!

But we stayed in his hotel for 2 days. Afterwards, we changed another hotel.

Due to the different places we're visting.

Here is those food we've been gobbling down our stomach almost everyday @ there.

I've thought i should be growing fatter when i'm at Hongkong.

( Just imagine all the sinful's food on the table, can make me go crazy )

But i came back & realized i actually slim down 2kg.

Blame god for treating me so good please.

YAY!

Guess what,

I found GONG-CHA OVER THERE.

So i force bby to try it with me & i think we ordered the redtea-milktea.

It was awesome, totally make me slurpslurp.

^.^

Went for sightseeing.

I wanted to take a photo of the casino i went.

Went for Sands & Wylnn or something ( i forgotten )
The casino was ULTIMATE BIG.

You can see so many people gambling and so many security guard.

& of cause i did played as well.

But its under Daddy's Sponsor leh, So it doesn't matter if i win or lose.

The whole trip was quite tiring, We slept late & wokeup early to have our breakfast/Dimsum.

The weather over there was cold & i rather i would remain there.

Here the end.

If you've not seen enough of my picture

I shall donate you another one k.

WAHAHAHHAHA.

Im missing this bitch right now.

2011-04-28T19:49:00.010+08:00

Huanghuang.

This photo was taken 2 years back, 2009.

We both change really alot, and im like missing this bitch fucking much.

Contacted each other few days ago as we've not been meeting up since like end of last year?

This is the very first time we've not met up for more than 1 month.

Girl, if you're reading this.

Remember, im always here for you no matter if its gonna be ups or down.

love you very much ^.^

- - -

Buddy, Atyk.

All taken on 2008 & 2010

How he became my listening ear & my closest male's friend in school.

How i can share with him everything.

How he will let me know everything i asks.

How he assure me he'll be there & accompanying me.

Always waiting for me during recess to eat together.

I remembered, there was once when he noticed i was really down.

It was when i was together with ' N ' & something shocking happened.

How he comforted me & stay by my side.

Running away from classes together with me & hide @ the staircase to console.

Really feel so comfortable sharing with him no matter how serious the matter is.

i can say, he spend alot of his time during school with me.

But as time passes, we drifted, we've our own group of friends.

We don't have our recess anymore.

But i'll never forget sucha great friend, a fabulous buddy i ever had.

Though we're in different industry now,

Please takecare & study well k.

Im still a 8 digit & a few stops away.

- - -

Basketball.
Bet some of them still reads my diary here.

Love.

Its really disappointing once i have all this flashback.

We walked all our seperated ways, Some with misunderstanding, some argued among themself.
We're like other's group, comes & go.

We meet up everyday, do everything a sport's person would do.

2009,

We hit to the club.

How all of yous drag me into the dancefloor when i hate squeezing and all the sweats.

How i sit there watching you guys dance, grinding girls.

How we cam-whore outside while waiting for the q.

How we begged friends to let us in first.

Some of us even swear we'll never go club anymore.

2010, Aug15.

How you guys suddenly appear @ my workplace on my birthday & surprise me,

gave you guys a hug each.

It totally shocked me, out.

Though, not everyone of you appear ; im still glad that i've seen some.

Lester's birthday.

January 23, 2009

When we always held gatherings @ eachother place for a buffet or dinner.

Even gossip sessions & mj-session.

There will always be a camera around us taking down every thing we do.

How we always remember each other's birthday & give them a surprise.

2009,

Always hitting down to the sentosa for a suntan,

a marathon run on the beach.

Playing volleyball and soccer.

Playing survivor with 2 teams and having forfeit.

Carrying each other in the water & have a fight of who falls into the water first.

Everything SEEMS to just be memories & it doesn't comes true.

How i wish those scenario would repeat again.

too bad ....

How we always use Happyseed's lappy to camwhore & have his mum's cooking.

Travelling down to bukit timah to vist his parent's shop.

Heading everywhere in the west part of Singapore to find people to versus our basketball.

Making videos out of everyone's stupid basketball move.

Laughing at how people shoot & run.

Throwing smelly's socks around.

Ohya! It seems like we've never hit to the movie all together before.

Right?

How sad to even mention that.

Its totally impossible right now, everyone has seperated.

Those that ain's getting along with eachother eventually becomes like enemy.

Recently, did up a catchup with Joseph, Jalex & Jester.
( This is why my name is Janisia )
Feel that its a so small, no longer the huge group we once had.

No more sitting around the middle of the court playing truth or dare,

Each one of us have to say a ghost story & suddenly scare the one beside you.

We've to shoot a 3pointer & it has to score inorder for ALL of us to go home.

All of you will be looking @ pretty girls when we're in the court.

How you guys hate each other basketball's style.

how i wish time would give me another chance,

just once, to let me turn back to 2009.

In 1 weeks later, i'll be over here.

This is hongkong.

& here

Macau.

Its beautiful, isn't it. Im going to cam-whore with Xj's Dslr.

Have been working full-time just specially for this trip. Hope its not gonna be a waste & indeed a fruitful trip.

& not forgetting, im bringing someone very special and important in my life along for this.

Its the first time or should i say, excited to have this chance.

- - -

Just hope that once im back to Sg, everything would comes as a better story.

Hopes my operation in Junes goes smoothly as well.

Though im really afraid, dang afraid & regret to agree my parents for this operation.

But i guess, i've to face it bravely by myself.

My future lies on this.

Basically, i miss everyone.

am sorry, if i've really left you out in my post.

As i continue writing and posting about all the friendship's i had in the past,

It really kinda hurts me deep down.There always something call ' Photo ', always reminding me that people will go.

But the image remains in the photo unchanged.

Flashbacks do hurt, it suck.

Do you miss me?

2011-04-27T16:43:00.000+08:00

Hi. Im back to blogging

Yay!
Will update asap once im done with all the html code.
:D

This is how you hurt me.

2011-02-08T21:19:00.003+08:00

Don't read if you're not interested.

This is gonna be a ranting post.

I don't understand why

Why did you let me see that ?

Why did i happen to switch on my comp.

Why did i happen to see her's profile.

I've seen once, i kept quiet.

I don't know if im being too sensitive or what.

Probably its just that you can't let go of her.

To avoid you having any misunderstanding about me,

I don't go around to comment on my ex's profile or even my flings.

But you ?

Sometimes i asks myself, what did i exactly owe you in my previous life?

Each time we exprecience a chaotic argument after we gotten together,

you'll never turn back to console me,

you showed you temper @ me.

Before we gotten together, before i accepted you,

you'll turn back to console me whenever we argue.

You'll never show your temper on me.

You'll give in everything to me.

You'll bring me out to shop once in awhile.

Is everyone the same ?

I thought at least one in my world would be different ?

After turns & turns,

I still get the same old reapeated hurt,

the history scene.

I don't wish to get so paranoid, so unreasonable, so angry bout it.

But this is how love makes me go crazy.

I don't wanna wake up with fear, pain.

Probably some people are just destine for a life that isn't as blessful as others.

I won't asks if you're tired from running around my mind the whole day.

I really don't know what to do to make you appreciate everything.

Idk how long can i endure everything that i've tolerating.

I guess i've gotten the answer from myself.

I don't wish to asks, i don't wish to know the truth.

I shall just lie to myself, led myself on till you're are willing to say.

Idk how long i can endure this nightmare, but i promise to give my best shot.

Trying to stay strong and to fight for my happiness.

Till the day i give up, i won't turn back.

like how you always throw me alone to endure all the pain.

Momento against the flow.

2011-01-26T22:53:00.002+08:00

I promise to have a proper post.
But i doubt there is still readers in this dusty place.

Am working now, while updating.

Probably i'll just lock this site and keep it as history & memories.

Bump into a surprising person today.
Been so long, long, long.

Chinese new year is round the corner, likea week ahead.

Been spending my pay like its foc, spending it on clothes.

I can spend like 400+ in 2 days forclothes.

I can faint, i can drown myself, seriously.

But i'll earn it back during chinese new year & my double pay (Y)
Yay, im a happygirl93.

Ohya, i comfirmed my operation to have it on Early-June.

Going back for a xray and through checkup on 27march.

Take my bloodtest & etc.

Was suppose to be studying in Ite right now,

But due to choosing of wrong course & getting into a not-interested course.

I decided to dropout & start my working life for my future.

Though life is kind of struggling and tough,

But i believe my future will be so bright that i'll be enjoying.

I hope i don't regret choosing this road.

Heading for a Hongkong trip on March to take a breath out of here.

Sometimes idk why im feel alittle mixedout,

Wanna make things clear, don't wish to jump around the bush,

But afraid it would create more havoc and chaotic.

Not really statisfied with my life for now,
Though it seems alittle better then before,

But i might be moving house ):
Sigh, to somewhere which is unknown to me.

Wo zhen de bu yao sia.

Thought of this, makes me feel damn sad.

sadgirl93 olredi.

Okay, a long post is enough.

Goodbye, You kong zai lai update k.

Ai ni men, hahaheezx.

Suddenly i realize i'm no longer a kid. It's time to face reality.

Please stay tune.

2011-01-03T12:02:00.004+08:00

IM NOT YET READY FOR A BLOG-POST.

2011-01-03T12:02:00.000+08:00

You've betrayed this.

2010-12-20T13:56:00.005+08:00

I don't want to so sound emo-lish in this post.
But i wish to rant my feelings right here, So i'll try my best to make it sound a little better.

Yesterday headed over to Csc for billard, pool & number ball.

Till 11.30pm & I headed home straight to bath & K.O on my bed.

Woke up @ 12.30pm & conflicts starts coming upon me.

Thanks so many people for pm-ing me, twitter & msn for consoling me.

Its been so long since i felt so fortunate.

Cjr tweet me & asks me to cheerup.

Still, he text me & remind me to washup & stop crying.

I don't know if its right to cry or its wrong,

I don't know if its right to start being cruel & not giving in to certain problems.

I don't know if its right to be ignoring every postitive points & pin onto the negative's ones.

Probably i've try my best to change you,

the stubborn & naive you.

But i failed to do so, instead i've change myself.

I feel so useless certain's issue & i don't know how to handle it well.

Have always been trying my best no matter how difficult it is.

Though you have lesser experience, I'm fine with it.

I try to tolerate & and remind you constantly.

& I remembered i send you a text last night reminding you of some problems,

but i guess you took it as i was finding a conflict between us.

You'll never understand how concern people can be.

You love to take things in your own way & comment & correct others even though you're wrong.

Thats your personality, You'll never want to be defeated.

Somehow i've put in more then i should to help, to do everything i could.

But seems like my conclusion was wrong from the start,

Nothing fruitful came out of it.

I guess from the start, i've failed to be myself.

Sigh.

You've left the footprint in my heart & its all crack right now.

Since we both don't wish to see eachother, then i guess, it makes things real clearly.

I've start letting off alittle since everything has happened.

I don't wanna feel the ache anymore.

Dad just told me :

做人要拿得起放得下.

I've decided and came with a answer.
Im ready for the worst.

Sorry for being a trouble & burden to you for this few months.

I don't wish to use the word ' force '

Cause it doesn't brings us any happiness.

So goodbye.

Nightmares can kill.

2010-12-19T12:17:00.002+08:00

Probably heading over to CCKite for Service courses.

Still have no idea which should i choose.

Apparently, i got 11 for n's & my dad is excited & im so gna get my rewards from him.

Heading back to School on 22nd for Pot's luck present exchange.

Gna vist Qunqun tomorrow @ her NUH.

For my close friends should know that i'm so much more active on my twitter then facebook.

& im thinking of removing ppl from following me.

They are a buzz to me. They tweet those childish things.

That can really irritates someones' to the max.

& I do not want someone whom i doesn't know that will know everything thats happening to me & around me.

Everyone has headed out of Singapore :(
Its going to be a BORING-WEEK!

Christmas is round the corner, how are you guys going to spend it ? ^^
As for me, I think its just a normal countdown & spend the night with my love ones.

I might wanna cut ' BOB hairstyle ' or should i change my haircolor.

Shall give it a new shot & a new hairstyle for christmas.

(Y)

Theres only something that love can do.

No longer a schoolgirl.

2010-12-17T11:23:00.004+08:00

Stuck into something call ' School & studying ' for 13years.

Time to walk out of it & take a break.

Have a taste of the adult's world.

Gonna see tons of students crying later on, excluding me.

Be it that its gna be a good or bad result.

Theres no point to turn back & change everything.

Not gonna be a weakling duckling crying over lousy results & not going up to poly.

5years in Secondary school has been chasing me off my mind.

But i appreciated someone all along that has been there for me no matter what.

Its my fatty-Pek.

Though we use to have all the arguments & misunderstanding,

But it has never last more then 2 days.

Was really upset from knowing that shes gna be my Formteacher since i retained.

But, she plead & chose to take my class cause of me.

She wants to change me & takecare of me.

Thanks.

Not knowing when will be the time we're going to get to sit down & have our lunch again.

But i hope no one will disappoint you later when we're collecting result.

3hours later, it'll be the last time i'm wearing that uniform.

Off to Dota then to prepare.

Pangyaode.

2010-10-27T13:34:00.003+08:00

Afterall, You're still a goodfriend deepinmyheart.
I'll never forget you :')

Happy Birthday, Gan-nina.

2010-10-04T00:50:00.003+08:00

Back home.
Lastnight, Attended Gan-nina's Birthday Celebration.
@ Maska.
Too many people were there, lazy to mention.
Though it was really a boring event @ first, Because not everyone reached.
But things started to improve at the back.
Nicholas, Jiahui, Zhenzhou, Haigui, Xiaogu & co started to entertain us.
Played cards, Drink & stuffs.
& i really love the birthday cake that Sb & Jh ordered.
Damn effing cute, Really suits Kiki.
Felt really awkward being there because idk why as well.
Rui was there too, & she toh before me.
left @ 3am, Cab over to Rui's house & toh till 7am.Home sweet home aftermath.

N'level paper resume later @ 2pm.
Ending on Friday.
Gonna get my hair highlighted & dye on Friday.
Its freedom for me already.
Happytothemax.com

Not everyone is in this photo.
Beensolongsinceidrank.
Since the day i quit my job,
I've not touch alcohol @ all till lastnight.
Being alittle paranoid nowadays.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ~

Catch me if i'm gonna fall.

2010-09-30T17:33:00.003+08:00

Been playing Texas & Mahjong recently.
been dota-ing as well.
They are playing Mahjong outside while i'm updating blog.
I'm going to prepare & wait for them to end.
Going out later.
7 more days & its marks the end of Secondary's life.
Been waiting for this day to approach.

Daddy is coming back tonight.
Been 2 months since i saw him,
Hopefully he brought me all my stuffs that i need.
& gonna demand shopping money from him.
Been 3 months since i shopped.
Aw, I can't wait for his arrival tonight.

Bai.

Happy birthday, September babies.

2010-09-18T06:14:00.002+08:00

Just came back from Scape park, Aw.
Was with Rui, Huang, Klass & co.
Its a awful virgin trip.
I swear I'll never go for any events like this anymore.
It was suppose to bring up my mood,
But i realize, It seems to demoralize me even more.
Even worst, It totally wasted my cab-fare down.
But im lucky to have Gan-nina to come & fetch me.
Aftermath, We all headed for Supper @ Tw 143.
Then Gan-nina fetched all of us home.
(Y) He gonna fetch me to boatq again tomorrow night to collect my pay.
Hopefully i don't get to see any awkward scenes.
Alright, Its 6.26am.
Updating for the sake of making it alive.
19 more days to END OF SCHOOL.
I'm so gonna declare holiday really soon.
& I'm gonna work full-time job, thus, blog is definitely dead?
^^
Wan-an readers.

& not forgetting, Wishing my September babies a
Happy birthday.
Love you all.

Rui,
Older by 1 year old already, Do remember to think wisely alright.
I hope you'll not have any more R/S problems.
But you can always find & seek Huang or me, alright.
You know we dote & love you.
Please remember to stay cute & your irritating actions ^^

Chuayongxiang,
Hope you like the surprises we had for you that night.
though it was a last minute thing,
But still it did surprised you.
Haha, Thanks Shifu for teaching me dota ^^
I'm so gonna own you sooner or later.
Just wait, Cause imma improving alot.
Wish you all the best for tomorrow's dota competition ye.
Jiayou.

Speechless.

2010-09-10T01:16:00.003+08:00

As requested, So i'm here to update.

N'level has started.

September holiday has started.

Work has been resume.

I've nothing to update, so i'm just typing nonsense.

& i hate people attituding me without any reason.

It seriously piss me off.

Feel like fcuking walk away & ignore everyone.

Am working on saturday & sunday.
Thats all, baibai.

Clement's big18th.

2010-08-28T15:46:00.001+08:00

Celebrated Clement's Big Eighteen last week.
Just too bad, We didn't had a group photo.

Okay, baibai.

Prawning (Y)

2010-08-19T05:24:00.004+08:00

Am @ farm-mart right nao.
Together with Sean & Yongxiang,
Xbee is coming to find us as well.
Feeling quite tired, afraid that i'll be bored.
So i brought my laptop outtttt :>

Not working this weekdays.
Am working on Friday & Saturday.
& I'mma gonna be a happygirl on Friday.
Cause Clement is coming down to open from me & I'm collecting my pay.
But its gonna be a small amount, because i only work 3days lastweek.
& 2 idiots is looking @ my screen right nao,
K-p-o.
Fyi, Sean has a Low-IQ.
Lmfao, They are quarreling nao.
& for 1 hour, we only manage to catch 2 prawns.
Pathetic shaitz.

Okay, I'mma gonna log off soon for Yongxiang use.
:>

I'm just updating my blog cause he says my blog is rotting.
Shall see my girls & loves on friday night! :D
Sean is nagging me to put him in my msn contact important group.
Irriating shit, He really piss me offffffffff.
But, He still has a low-iq.
Hehee.
Life has been quite smoothly for me.
Daddy is outta town.
Gonna be back during October.
N'level is approaching as well, have to study well.
& i hope ChuaYongXiang will return back to School soon!

& Lastly, I wanna thanks for those who came down on last saturday.

Celebrated my birthday & opened 4martell.

Thanks to them, but still -.- In the end not enough.

Ha!

I really enjoyed that day, with their presence.

But not with Sean's presence.

He is really irriating & a nusicance.

He gotten himself more drunk then me, as if it was his Birthday.

Lmaorofl.

Okay, I had hangover the nextday & thanks to those who took good care of me.

Esp xiaoyo :>

Baibai.

Nightlife.

2010-08-12T23:44:00.002+08:00

Have not been attending school since last Wednesday till today.
Am not going to attend for Tomorrow as well.
Life seems like its back to when i was in Secondary 2/3.
Really rebellious liaozxzx, jialat.

Have started working since Tuesday.
Am going for work on Friday & Saturday as well.
Standard, Every Friday & Saturday for me is booked.
I totally have no time for friends anymore.

Hope i'll still have some spare time on weekdays provided i'm not tired.
Daddy is leaving later @ 4am.
We ain't spending him off, He will be back after 1month plus.

Heading to bed soon.
Just clearing some dust over here.
Am trying to be in my best condition,
of not getting into emotional mood.

Anisia is better with her life right nao.
Bai-Bai.

2010-08-08T08:47:00.002+08:00

I wanna continue to lie to myself,
We ain't drifting apart.
Though its really hard to pretend that nothing is changing.
You said distance won't be a problem.
But to me, Its does matter.
Its been long since i told you my h2h feeling.

Found myself a job.
Am starting work this week.
But still manage to tell myself
' Be strong, Smile like there isn't tomorrow '

I've to adjust myself, to adapt a newlife.
& i doubt, I've time to meet up with my friends anymore.
& we're definitely gonna drift.

2010-08-03T23:50:00.002+08:00

Sometimes its how funny how i dwell back about the past.
Trying to salvage but knowing its pointless.
How you gave me hope @ first,
& now proving to me that i mean nothing anymore.
Though i hear the heart shattering,
The pain screaming.

Prelims has started.

Skipped 4 paper.
Done 2 paper.
1 more paper to go.

Paper has been ending as early as 9am,
Latest 9.30am.
Rushed home to sleep all the way till 6-7pm.
Life ain't going to improve this way.
Hasn't been meeting up with Huang as well, She busy with someone.

Tearing while thinking about how everything will be drifting apart.
Afraid that things will grow ugly,
Afraid that it won't be like the past anymore.
The past etched in my heart,
But i wish i'll never have those past before.
Earse it off, Throw it in the bin & delete it away.

我真的爱上了。

2010-07-27T00:38:00.004+08:00

If only everything could be as simple as ABC.
We won't have to struggle with life & topple around.
Though we, girls, doesn't need to rely on guys to live.
But, Love is not something under our control.

If its just so simple as you can expect,
We won't have tears rolling down, We won't have ' emotional ' this word.

If love could turn into hatred,
Then why couldn't hatred turn into love ?

I know I'm no match to win this battle.
I'm not gear up, I'm not well-prepared.
But i definitely have the courage to go on.
After realizing that things has change so much,
& what 'G ' said really arouse my attention & suspicious,
I really think there no point continuing this battle.

If we could calculate the percentage,
If we could measure the weight,

If we can define love,

Why ain't ' love ' the subject we're taking?

Down this journey, This 8months,
I've think, thought.
Controlled times & times over & over again.
But i still can't avoid this, I can't escape from reality.
Questioning myself is positive & rewarding,
But will the result turns out into what i wanted ?

我好想放弃这个游戏。
But, Huang told me to be determine, To be strong.
Thou i know that its really pointless, or should i say ' hopeless '
to keep all this alive & moving.
I've been free for 8months, I've been living life all by myself without anyone controlling.
Shouldn't i be enjoying & happy with all this ?
Didn't i always say single is the best choice ?
But i found out, Single has its positive & negative points, so do being attached.

Walking down the streets,
Looking @ how those couples smile & communicate,
assuring each other they're secured with them by their side.
Envious ~
But i ain't jealous, because I'm in no rush for a relationship.
Just afraid of regretting what i might be gonna lose.
Sometimes before we could come to a conclusion/decision,
Everything might be a little too late.
I've been in this situation for countless of times,
I know the feeling for myself, best.

I gave myself time, alone.
To think through all the stuffs & history i once went through.
Those I've walk down with, the sad & happy moments.
Its beautiful once i combine everything @ the end.
I ended the thoughts with smile.

Girls have to be strong so do guys.
But trying to be the one you want, its tiring.
I told my girls,

' Sweet-talks are cheap. Just love to hear it, But don't be taken in for it.'

I've mastered this sentence, I'll never underestimate this sentence.
Once bitten twice shy.
If you want me to stay, tell me.
If you want me to walk off, tell me.
Don't leave hints in my life, be straight-forward.

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle,
If you don't give me enough/exact clue, The missing parts will never be found.
So why don't you give me a whole & make it clear once & for all.

Don't drag on, Don't be stuck.
Lets just move on & get going.
Don't stop me as i'm crossing the line of happiness.
- We've no forever, cause i don't see forever in us.

Anisia.

Flyaway.

2010-07-18T01:50:00.002+08:00

Airport on Friday.
I'm not active on my blog, I really lost feel of what to update.
I'm 24/7 on Twitter.
Find my user if you can :D

Goodbye!

History repeated.

2010-07-04T16:30:00.002+08:00

Damn unhappy.
History repeated itself again.
I can't help it, I can't stop it.
I tried my best.

I'll leave this site for alittle while.
I'll be back real soon with a proper post, a proper blog.
I'll do some amends to everything.

Bottom, right-second.

2010-06-30T02:00:00.003+08:00

I love this class photo badly.
Too bad, I have no chance to have it.
Came to realize, Its was taken 2years back.
How time past just in a blink & i was so not tan that time :(

Took 3days MC.
School will start for me on Thursday.
Hopefully no attire check on me.
Heard we've change our Discipline master.
& The new one is so much better.
Bet our school gonna relax more from now on.
Kinda looking forward to attend school on Thursday cause i miss sleeping on my class's table.

Lot1 for Pontian Wanton Mee.
Batok Csc just now for pool & bowling.
Home sweet home after that.

Don't put down your ego just for the sake of love & sex.
It doesn't worth it.
Please knock some sense into your brains, before you comment other.
Because you're the one who is being a slut.

I'm so gonna turn in soon.
Tomorrow definitely a boring day.
Looking forward for weekend, & i've no school on Monday again!
Yay! Its Youth day.

Goodnightz.

If you're unhappy, come on.

2010-06-27T11:57:00.004+08:00

School is going to start tomorrow.
This June's holiday, Have been meeting up with the Rui & Huang everyday.
Either timah, lan, mahjong, drink & overnight.

Its been so long since i updated my blog,
I'm heading out soon.
& i've been waking up around 10am - 12noon everyday.
No matter how many hours i sleep.

We use to be 4person,
But due to relationship, 1 of the girl left us.

& i've chopped off my fringe & tail.

Going to meet the girls later on to Timah for billard & pool lateron.
Bye!

N's is nearing.

Tired.

2010-06-17T05:53:00.002+08:00

This girls is @ my house right now.
Take a look @ the timing.
Guiding Huang with mj.
Total 9people in my room, jitao pack.
There is Xiang, Xin, Xbee, Aaron, Joel, Rui, Huang.
Okay.
Just updating this space cause it looks so dusty.
Baibai!

It marks the day & the past.

2010-06-04T23:43:00.001+08:00

Today marks the 6thmonth of being single.
Heading out.
Bai.

Girls.

2010-05-28T18:31:00.003+08:00

Mj till dawn.
Just reached home.
Gonna hit down t Timah for poolsession with my girls & co.

My gastric hurts like fcuk.
5more days to determine for operation.
Bye!

3.46am.

Just realize Daddy is out of town.
Flagday later on & i've already decided to skip.
Probably hitting down to Leonard's workplace for interview, the following week.
Hope its a success one.

Pool session
Prata
67 to interchange.
Laughed till stomach ache.
Cab home.

Tmrw is a aimless & planless day for me.
Sleep tothemax.com

I remember someone asked me.
' Aren't you sad that N is together with another girl ? '
For your information,
I'm not sad, neither am i jealous.
I'm rather happy for him instead that he've move on & find a ' maybe better ' one ?
lmaorofl.

& i promise to give you a answer once.
& i'm ready with that answer.

Photospam.

2010-05-27T17:38:00.002+08:00

My girls came up to my house yesterday.
More on facebook.

Twitter @Janisia

一千個傷心的理由

2010-05-24T21:06:00.003+08:00

Last week of school.
Nothing much to update.
Gonna skip school for a few day.
2ndjune will determine if i've to undergo a operation.

我怕一切会失去掉。

最後我的愛情在故事裡慢慢陳落

Follow me on twitter,
@Janisia
More active on Twitter then on Facebook.

Updated.

2010-05-18T01:12:00.002+08:00

Been like a week-plus since i update my bloggggggg.
I remember i once told Huang, I almost forgotten i actually have a blog.
Ha.
I couldn't remember whats going on in life.
But, Definitely I've kinda enjoyed myself with all the Kways <:
Been meeting up with Rui & Huang as well.

Friday was holiday.
Headed to Clementi Kbox @ night for Gh's birthday.

Happy belated birthday <:

Sing & sang.
Cab to Sunshine for Supper & chat.
Home @ 5am in the morning.

Couldn't really remember what happen the next few days.

Yesterday, Afternoon jog till 5pm.
Home to bathed & Met the Kways @ Alijunied.
Sbc for match, Timah with Huang & Rui & Rong & Jiajun & Gh, for pool & L4D2 & CS till 3am.
Home @ 4.30am.

Woke up @ 2am today.

Nowadays been waking up so early when i slept @ 5am - 4am.
I've no idea what is wrong with my body system!
Daddy say i'm going crazy.

Mahjong till 7pm & headed to ball,
Yewtee till midnight & Headed home.

Now i'm suspecting every friends around me.
Even the close ones would say such things.
Really so doubtful of things.
I don't know who to trust.
But still, Whatever they want to say.
C:

也许我太过天真, 以为奇迹会发生.

少给我一点希望.

Nao i've updated, Please don't say i never update hor.
Baibai C:

我不想那么痛苦的去想了

2010-05-05T06:05:00.005+08:00

愛情是一道傷口　我們各自苦痛

Its been so long since i updated my blog.
Time to clean & clear.
I've totally forgotten what I've been doing for the past 15days.
The only thing I remember is, Mid-year had started.
There is still 4more papers to go.
& I've not attended school since Monday till today.
Will be going back to school tmrw.

不用擔心誰也不用被誰管

Have been leading life almost the same everyday.
Remembered last night I went to West coast park.
Brought back alot of memories, Alot of past.
Thought of so much things.
But i know, Everything is too late.
I couldn't make a choice anymore, Neither can i turn time back.

不想擁有太多

Hopefully life is going to be much more simple for me, as time pass by.

自己做決定

Headed for supper with Patrick just nao @ mac.
Afterwards, Sat down & chat.
Brought up so much about the past, Rant so much problems.
Felt that, Some of it doesn't really bothers me as much as it always does.
But, There is definitely something which has been bringing me down everytime i thought of it.

我不想再期待走下去

I realize so much things after just now,
I realize how much i miss some of them when they had left my life for quite some times.

Someone texted me in the evening,
你說你還在一分一秒也沒走開
But, I don't know why.
I can't feel that presence, I can't feel anything that you're still here.
We've drifted, so far apart.
If you know who you are, You should know what i am saying.

我不能再像從前一樣
I don't want to be so easily affected anymore.
I don't want to be hanging onto the past,
Always being affected by i saw something, When i miss something.
I should be looking forward.

Friends kept asking me to update my blog,
To post something at least.
I always say
' I've nothing to post, I've nothing to write. My life is always the same '
Because i know,
All my post will turn out to be emotional.
I just want to lie to myself that, I've been really happy for the past 15days.

我想留在這裏可是這一切已太晚
如今我還在原地你卻走回你的記憶

I wonder & think & thought.
How long am i suppose to be stuck right here,
Not wanting to move on.
Please, Don't be stuck in me.

I told someone, I regretted letting go.
I thought i could have you back, I thought you would turn back to me.
But i guess, No.

分開是一種解脫　讓你好好的想過
我想要的　那片天空　你是不是能夠給我

I remembered seeing you cry in front of me,
Having me wiping your tears away.
I remembered those nights when i cried & you will be there wiping it away as well.

也许, 你已经放弃我了.
我知道你的痛是我给的.

Sometimes i really don't know how to put it in words,
I don't know how to describe everything.
I also don't wish to mention anymore things about here already.
Like you once say,
The new ones won't come if the old ones don't go.
& now i finally understand it.
I'll try my best.
Though I'm not looking forward for another game like this.

If i were a boy,
I think i can understand,
How it feels to love a girl, like me.

Everything i had got destroyed,
Because i lose the one i wanted.
If i were to off my phone, I would say its spoilt,
So i could be alone & think thoroughly what i really want.
Its all too late, For you to come back.
Lets just make it as ' Its a mistake, But no turning back. '

够了!

Now you know why i hate updating my blog?
I hate to be reminded, hate to think.
Hate to crack my brain & asks myself why do i still have to be stuck.
Okkkkkz, Enough.
Job hunt this Friday, Movie on Saturday.
And I'm totally prepared to fail MYE this semester.
& its 6.49am right nao & I'm still awake.
I can't seems to fall asleep nowadays, & i don't know why.
I want to turn my daily-clock back to the past.
Shitz man.

Xiang says hes going to treat me to Ip man 2.
This Saturday hitting down to Town for Iron man 2.

Alright, Shall end my post here.
Shall see when I'm free to update this rotten blog again.
Baibai.

The pain you left.

2010-04-20T23:32:00.007+08:00

无法形容今天的心情.
心痛，谁知 ?

Probably i'm blinded by everything.
I wish i did not change, I wish i did not realize all this.
:( Don't wish to know everything.

I don't want one by one to come,
One by one to leave.
If you decided to come, than don't leave.
If you thought of leaving, than don't come.
Understand this simple thing?

I thought you understand what i wanted,
I don't need your sensitive thinkings, I don't need your attitude.
I can't live with all this things, understand ?
Till you change, if not ..

Came back from Huang's house with Rui.
Fell asleep there while talking.
Going to perm my hair soon, After i take my nextpay.

Friday interview @ Element, Hope it goes smoothly.

Tomorrow is wednesday, Hopefully no Extra lesson.
I want to come home to catch my nap.
Tomorrow night i'm meeting Joyce & Ziqun @ Yewt.
Thursday will be working, friday working, Saturday working.
Friday after work going down to Boatq with Rui & Huang.

就算心情不好,不开心, 都不可以显示出来.
这种日子几时才会结束.

Haiiiiiiiiiii !

无论是开心还是难过我的爱一直不变

2010-04-18T23:50:00.003+08:00

所有美好回忆纪录在里面

Complained that my blog has been rotting.
So came here to clear the dust.

Couldn't really remember what really happened.
Shall just elaborate alittle.

Friday,
Mj-ed all the way till morning & headed to breakfast.
Its schoolholiday anyway.
slept @ 8.30am & wokeup at 12noon cause something happened.
Prepared & met R @ yewtee to talk & drink Honeydewsago.
Mrt to meet Huang & headed to Causeway.
Bus & went to get our tongue pierced.
Cab to causeway & took mrt.
Accompanied her for work & stayed there till 9pm.
Off to meet Mund @ clarkquay central.
Accompanied him for dinner & he forced me to eat.
I almost cried out while eating, ate not even 2 spoon of the porridge & i giveup.
Off t riverside to sit & chat.
Met Jinhui & co & accompanied them t Jab.
waited for Huang & friend to come.
Stayed there till 5+ & headed home.
Lost my key somewhere & have to stayed outside my house alone while waiting for resuce :(

Saturday,
Wokeup alot of times, But i wokeup exactly @ 7pm.
Nua @ home, met Huang & others @ yewtee for awhile.
They went off t work & i went home to prepare.
Bring some clothes for Huang to change.
Mrt down to Raffles to meet her & down to Boatq again.
Jab, Strawberry & Neverland.

Today,
Nua @ home.
Too tired.

Been 4days since i ate.
Lucky i grab alittle soup to drink just now.
:(

Might be heading over to Element to work.

Alot of emotional took over me again.
让我的幸福如此悦耳

I really don't know how to put everything into words anymore.
I don't even wish to update this space.
I feel that, My life is like a remote control.
So many people controlling this & that.
Probably like what someone told me yesterday,
Life is like a movie.
You've to act well, & go with the flow.

I know i've change terribly much.
But, I can't change myself back to the past anymore.
I don't wish to be the past-me as well.
I don't want to always be reminded of the past.
Its always too late to grabhold of the things you wanted.
When we've lost it, We know whats the pain we've to bear.
I'm tired of pretending,
I'm tired of all this things.
Probably i just play & go with the flow.
I do what i dislike & don't do what i like.
My life has change dramatically much, I dont know how to face it as well.
I lose all of them, cause of the things i'm doing.
Its not what i wanted, Its not what i like,
Buts thats the only way to clear this.
I don't want to say much anymore,
I had enough.

Everyday, Everyweek, Everymonth, Everyyear,
The problems just keep coming like its all free.

You'll never know how heartbreaking it is.
Its just a game,
I should follow it.
No hard-feeling, No real-feeling should be inserted.

Probably another long period for me to update again.
Cause i might be hopping to another space for the time-being :(
Baibai.

You always say, as long as i am happy.

2010-04-08T01:47:00.003+08:00

Why times & times again, we've to face the history?
Why do we've to go through everything over & over again ?
I wonder how should i handle everything.

I hate coming home to face this tragic.
I hate to come home & argue.
I'm tired of eye infection, i'm tired of swollen eye.
Do you really understand ?

I just want my life to be a decision made by my own.
Not you to choose what road i should go.

Its been a struggle for me since 5days ago.
I couldn't fall asleep, i couldn't sleep well.
The day always end with all the argument & nonsense.
I've been waiting & waiting, waiting for that phone to ring.
But when i realize something, i guess i should not have wait for that.
Probably its really day by day,
hours & hours, minutes & minutes.
Probably it'll turn ugly like how it did in the past.

Are you tired of this game ?
Are you tired of everything ?
Thinking back, i wonder was it right for me to come back & appear.
I felt that this time round,
I've messed it, I've overdone it, I've messed up your life.
You must be suffering more than me,
You must be keeping everything to yourself.
I've always been making you worry & you can't do anything.

I know nothing i say could bring anything back.
I know whatever i do, will never mend the heartache we both have.
But, that day you met her, it would still haunt me.
The doubt hasn't been cleared yet.
This has been keeping me reminded of it.
You said you given up everything.
I'm sorry, Sorry for causing you to let go & have to control your feelings.
I shall give you back your freedom.
You can have your everything back, you can have her back.
I'll remain silent.
I'll pretend.
Just take it, its all my fault.

I'm so sorry.
I'm really tired of crying every night without any comfort.
I'm tired of facing it.
Instead of consoling me, all i get was cold shoulders.
I don't want emotional to take over me anymore.
No one can tolerate my attitude,
I've reminded you before.
I can't lead you to happiness, Sorry.

I should just fade away.
Anisia , just stop crying.
please.

Its the impossiblity we're thinking of.

2010-04-04T07:02:00.003+08:00

downtothemax.com

I wanna laugh @ myself.
I just have to move on, with life.
Its just that simple.

Not understanding you.

2010-04-01T09:19:00.004+08:00

Yesterday skipped training,

Yellow form & home @ 1pm.

Slept all the way till this morning 5.40am & wokeup to prepare for school.

I have never imagine myself sleeping for a whole day.

I did not eat any meal yesterday :(
Feeling so hungry right nao.

9.40am, lesson will be ending & it'll be math lesson.

School till 12.30 & have to rush home to get my jerseys & working attire.

Waste my time & money again ):

Against Dunman today, 2.30pm.

If nothing goes wrong today, we'll be entering Top8.

Shitz man, Means more tougher training is waiting for us.

Extra lesson starts offically nextweek.

tuesday & thursday - 6pm.

monday, wednesday & friday - 6pm ( training )
I can't even catch my afternoon nap anymore.

Sadtothemax.com only.

I guess i'm prepared to get bad result for this term.

I can't concenerate myself during lesson esp EBS & CPA.

Hopes Huang cheers up about her Grandpa's side.

Hopes Rong gets well from fever.

My shoulder is still hurting so much.

Thanks to Navalbase #8 for elbowing me in my neck ):
I don't look forward for the match later.

Cause i've work till 1-2am later on.

I'm prepare to worn out at the end of the day.

No night plan tonight.

Tomorrow is holiday, YAY!
But i've work )-: Can't even enjoy, extra pay.

Shall meet the rest of them probably after tonight's work.

Or tmrw.

Baibai, going prepare to go back to class & sleep.

Jokes.

Do you know i actually miss you so much, that i don't know how to describe it?

Do you know i hate the fact that i can feel us drifting away ?

I'm sorry for not understanding you.

Still i've to thanks you for pampering me & giving me surprises @ times.

But i don't think you're able to accept my attitude.

I just wish to avoid showing my attitude, but i couldn't control.

You don't know whats pissing me off, really.

You don't know whats knocking in my head.

You don't know what i'm thinking & i don't know what you're thinking.

Get it ?

I know you still have not speak out to me completely that night.

Did i asks for more ?

Sometimes i just couldn't stop the thought that,

When i'm @ my lowest point that night, you could find your mood to meet mz.

I kept quiet, i did not make a fuss, i did not complain.

I called, you said you left your phone in the car.

I doubt, i kept suspecting.

I know things might not be that simple, i wish i was wrong.

Because what once happened to the both of you,

makes me more worry.

Probably i just shouldn't know too much.

if you can't feel that pain that its haunting, than try putting yourself in my shoes.

Imagine yourself in my shoes, alright?

I hate it, i hate this.

Been days, i've been feeling moodless & unhappy.

It sucks, totally.

Repeating it to myself.

2010-03-29T19:51:00.005+08:00

Isolated myself in school today.
Fetched Huang and off to school in the morning.
Sat @ canteen, skipped on buying fish for breakfast.
No appetite, No mood.
Brought my wintermelon and started to tear.
Toilet, washedup.
Assembly, back to class.
Focus on maths and copied down all the formulaes.
Been so long since i stayed awake during math lesson, i realize.
Ebs next, coursework stress me up.
took mp4 out and listen throughout the whole lesson.
So much things went through my mind.
Recess, did not even spoke a single word to Huang or Timothy.
Back to class, Art and did my painting.
Probably gonna fail my N'level art, thats what Mrs . Ong had told me.
English next, charge my handphone for the last 20minutes and off to training.
Met Sharon @ canteen and tsktsk.
Walked out of school, N @ the opposite busstop.
J is just infront of me.
Felt so awkward.
than back to school for training, rained.
Physcial, Worn-me-out.
Canteen with D , J , S , and some other juniors.

My mum asked me when i'm back home,
How did i manage a long day in school without catching any sleep lastnight.
I didn't know as well, Probably because of the thoughts that has been flashing through me.

Normally i would text or msn alot in school / class everyday.
But guess what, I did not even online on msn or text much. Probably only like 20 today ?
I don't wish to reply, i don't wish to text.
Ignored Pek for the whole day as well, She asked what happened, ignored too.

Sometimes i felt that friends are fake.
Sometimes i felt that they say they will be there is just for the sake of saying it.
Some of them had prove me this way already.

I just have to bring myself up and face it.
I just have to stop thinking so much.
So many of them asks why do i look so gloomy today.
Why did i stay awake the whole night.
Yet i ignore every single of them.

There match tmrw, and i'm not in a mood to go.
There work tmrw, Its going to beat me to death.
There training on wednesday, its going to kill me.
There match on thursday, and i'm not looking forward for it.
There work on thursday, Its going to be till morning.

I wish i would be better tomorrow when i'm awake.
i wish i will tell myself to be stronger the moment i open my eyes.
I wish i can lie to myself that everything gonna be fine.
I hope i can maintain everything by myself.
I hope i can ignore every single of those things.
I hope i can do it.

Its really okay,
This is not the first time i felt so retarded & idiotic as well.
i should not be affected bout it @ all.
I've been like a fool for once, twice even thrice.
Its really ..
okay.

12.19am,
Cried for an hour or so.
tothemax.com only.
mini-eyes to school tmrw, definitely.
):

Anisia is tired, gonna turn in after 33hours of not sleeping.
Goodnights.

Recently going crazy over this guy above.
So damn cute, and been in love with the songs.
Gonna get his nextalbum.

If only happiness is everywhere.

2010-03-29T01:21:00.003+08:00

Its another night, that's gonna pass really slow.
Money can't buy happiness.

Why do i feel so paranoid times & times over & over again ?
I just couldn't express myself well.
Hate to face this myself, But who should i blame instead of myself for being so sensitive ?
I miss the feeling of sharing it with someone.
I miss the thought of having someone to lean on every time i tear.
i miss having someone to pat my head & asks me to cheer up.
Nao, everything had change.
So much things had taken up my life, my daily routine.
Work & match & school has suffocate me.

I remember someone once told me.
' If you were to be sad/down, Who will be there to cheer me up? '
I was shock, shock that after all the misunderstanding & arguments we had,
He still wants me to be there for him & cheer him up.

Cousin told me this,
If you were to be sad for 1minute, you'll be losing 60seconds of happiness.
& it kept me wondering,
How many hours, minutes & second of happiness have i lost ?
How many days have i lost ?
How many months have i lost ?
Seems uncountable, But i wish it could be counted so i would be glad to realize that i've more happiness than sadness.

Quoted from Joyce :

Don't make decisions when u're angry ; Don't make promises when u're happy.

A teardrop is insignificant in a pool of water, but it can touch the soul as it runs down someone’s face.

I have to forgive to forget, and forget, to feel again.
We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope
Take a look at me now,
cause there's just an empty space.
And you coming back to me is against all odds and that's what I've got to face.
Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness,
and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.
I can close my eyes to things i don’t want to see,
but i can’t close my heart to things i don’t want to feel.

Busy schedule.
monday - school, training, home, sleep.
tuesday - school, match, work, home, sleep.
wednesday - school, training, home, sleep.
thursday - school, match, work, home, sleep.
friday - holiday, die.

enough to suffocate myself ?

5pm, prepared & watched telly.

6pm, down to meet them & had hongkong cafe, Tin's treat.

302 to Lot1,

Yami yoghurt,

Timah for pool

Home & washup.

Every heart has a reflection
Every reflection has a feel
Every feel has a meaning ..

Edited,
Nao its 5.30am & dad just wokeup.
he saw me being awake & get alittle fedup.
I just couldn't get to fall asleep.
Going to prepare right nao anyway.
off to school, soon.

I wanna get Justin bieber's album !

Anisia is UN-HAPPY.

2010-03-26T01:05:00.007+08:00

Another sleepless night gonna come.
Realize that I've been having latenights alone in my room.

I wish i could close my eyes and sleep forever.
I'm lacking of sleep.
I'm working tmrw, i'm working tmrw, i'm working tmrwwwwww.
I'm seriously very unhappy right nao.
I don't know who spoilt my mood.
I don't know how did it spoil my mood.
I don't know why is my mood spoilt.
I just feel like being alone, feel like going to a quiet place.
The first thought, westcoastpark.

Sometimes i feel so neglected.

Remember i once told you, i'm someone who needs lots of attention.
If you can't give me the attention i want,
you won't see me smiling, you won't see me being happy.

I told you before,
You definitely can't give me the attention i always need.
Assured, promised.
Yet now, undone.

I don't want to repeat myself, twice, thrice or even more than that.
I hate repeating myself & i get irritated when i've to repeat myself.
Why is it so hard to maintain one?

Its pretty obvious that i act if i ain't affected by it.
Its obvious enough if you know my habits.
Yet times & times, i've to fret over this & troubled over that.
I just feel that none of us understand whats really happening around us.

Sometimes i want to be motivated.
But i couldn't find that pillar, that strength.

ANISIA IS DANG UN-HAPPY !

decided, leave.

2010-03-25T10:07:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna give up on the team.

Say me having a weak mindset, i don't care.

Cpa lesson right nao.
Daddy just got me another simcard lastnight (-:

I can msn & facebook online using PDA phone already, happyhappy.

I don't have to borrow iphone from huang or timonthy anymore.

I can play during work-time as well.

Detention later, TimothySonny is kind enough to offer to stay back with me.

I won't feel bored anymore.

Did not even talk to pek today.

Showed her a face, very fedup.

Okay, freelesson just now for maths & later for english.

gonna sleep to the max.

Or probably gonna msn till the max.

Whatever.

Not in a right or good mood nao.

Going off for recess real soon.

Hopes huanghuang get herself well real soon.

See you tmr in school or saturday for work.

Luvluv.

Journey towards life.

2010-03-24T08:42:00.005+08:00

Currently in school's lab.

Mood was spoilt early in the morning, again.

Was asked to stay back for detention by Pekyanshan again.

I've work tomorrow, & she clearly knows it.

Yet she expect me to stay for detention tmrw ):
Why can't she shift it today & i shall skip the national match.

I rather i skip playing the match than skipping work.

Okay, am suppose to do my coursework.

But i've no mood to complete it.
Still doing halfway, almost to completion.

Doing the video right nao ):
Seems simple but very complicated.

Can't wait to leave school @ 11.10am later on.
Huanghuang have went home, she having fever.
Lucky she never pass it down to me uh.
Do drink more water, so many people falling sick recently.
Including meeeee (-:
I'm thinking if i should play for the match later-on, not.
I only had 1hour30minutes of sleep, I'm feeling so sleepy nao.
My eyes are closing any moment.
Hopefully later got people kind enough to buy thing for me to eat after my match laaaa.
Hinting -; xoxo.

The road to home is always so long, alone.

The smell of absence is so strong.

I thought i will be better off this way.

Even when i try avoiding thinking that way, avoid everything we once went through,

Yet it still flashes through my mind.

Though sometimes i've to live without you,

i thought i would fall so badly.

No, infact it taught me independence to be all by myself & standing strong enough.

Everyone always thought that love is their whole world.

But they did not know,

Love has taken away their life, freedom & speech of words.
So much things you've to stop yourself from doing, know your limits & change your past.

Sometimes i feel that loving & getting into a relationship is troublesome,

So worry that i've no freedom, i'll lose everything in my life.

All along, i did not really dare to love someone ever since the last r/s i gotten into.

I did not dare to speak of r/s, love or anything to any guys.

I'll just asks them to let go & find someone better.

I've always mention about ' i need time, i need more time to think '

But to now, i'm just avoiding all the fact, all the things that i should be facing.

I'm afraid of losing anyone, i don't want to lose anyone.

Everyone stands a place in my life, they mean something to me.

Till lastnight, i stayed up till early in the morning to keep my mind from running.

Everyone need their freedom like me,

So i asked someone to move on & live without me.

Asked why did he wasn't given a chance, i skipped that question.

I aint trying to avoid, i'm just trying to bring up my courage to face all this.

I told myself to be strong, to face everything by myself.

I've been trying to take the first step, first move.

Somehow i know i'll regret losing one, two, or even more.

But, i've been selfish for months, years.

Its time to stop my selfishness.

Only someone knows i've been crying for the past few night.

Everyday waking up with heavy eyes trying to force it open every morning.

So much things has been haunting me.

Only two know about this,

12march is the day i'll always remember ): Only few of them know.

Its the day something so precious was gone that i can't stop freting over it.

It will haunt me for life, no matter how much i wanna get rid of the thoughts.

Every morning i wakeup, i wonder how is it.

I wish i could turn time back, grab hold of it & choose again.

I'm tired, someone just clear my mind.

Wash off everything.

I don't want to remember anything, anyone, anywhere.

Exhuasted from the thought of it.

I've fight this battle for long, for months.

I wish to let myself out, its been ages since i've got drunk.

Its been ages since i pour everything out & lean onto Huang's shoulder.

I miss the feeling whenever i share everything with her.

Alot of changes is taking place in life.

Time will never wait for us, Infact we've to chase after time.

I wish i was given something more than 24hours a day.

Life is like a ferrywheel,

It keeps turning in circle & leads you to nowhere.

I wish i could make the 2nd decision again.

I wish i could change the past, get back those that i'm suppose to have.

That decision that i've made that day,

Is the toughest point of my life, for my whole life, even in the future.

I'll never forget that decision, I will never forget that day.

I'll never forget those nightmares,

I'll never forget those pain & tears i've let out.

I wish i could have it all back )-:

Do you understand this pain ? This heartache ?

School a struggle.

2010-03-24T00:04:00.003+08:00

Skipped school today, Stomach ache like nobody's business lastnight.
Headed down to Novena all by myself to do alittle shopping.
Back to Imm for dinner & did shopping again.
Home sweet home after that.
Was suppose to attend work tonight, But give it a miss as i'm sick.
Thursday will be back to work till Saturday for this week.
I need moolahs for my shopping.

Tomorrow is wednesday.
National starts tomorrow for us, 1.30pm @ clementi sport hall.
Hopefully nothing turns wrong to myself during the match.

Probably i've really grow up,
Cause i'm stuffing myself with school & work.
No time for friends, maybe.
Felt like a zombie or a ghost during the holiday.
Insufficent sleep for me.

Monday, wed, fri - trainings.
Tue, Thur, Sat - working.
Extra lesson after school is starting as well.
N'level is approaching.
Midyearexam is just a month away.

): Turning in soon.School tmrw.Match tmrw.Fight the battle of pain tmrw ):

All links had been relink (:
Tags will be replied after today's date.

A release of breathe.
you make me confuse about everything.
Sometimes i wonder, i doubt.
But still, you ease my mind with just a smile.

Don't step onto my tails if i did not step onto yours.
Don't make me piss off, that the main point.
Words that come out, let it go through your brains before spilling it.
I don't like irritating & nonsensical topics.

I'm always here.

2010-03-21T16:46:00.003+08:00

Be brave & face everything.
I'll always be here for you, girl.
your listening ears are still here, always.
Luvvvvvvvv !

The route to home, is always so long.
Thanks for loving me once,
Making me feel the most lonely period.

Working everyday, no time to update.
Will find time to update a proper ones.

Runaway.

2010-03-05T12:19:00.003+08:00

If i could escape from the reality.

What do you guys understand ?
Who're you to judge me ?
You've not even went through all this before,
What do you know about afraid ?

Why don't you guys try & feel it yourself ?
Rather than commenting & fretting over this matter ?
Why do i've to keep smiling ?
Pretending that i'm all okay with everything & be strong.
Cause i know there are people around me who cares.

Why can't just tolerate me alittle ?
Understand me why do i've to be like this ?
Instead of throwing tantrum & attitude ?
When its had became this state, My tolerance is not good @ all.
you should know, you should understand.
Yet i'm tolerating.
I asked myself why, Why am i tolerating this.
I couldn't find an answer.

Everyone thought life has been easy, coolz.
Wait till you've step into that,
You will then know what is nightmare.
From now onwards,
I won't care how other judge me,
How others going to comment about me.
Cause you guys ain't going to be an impact in my life @ all.

I know who is true, who is there.
I know who will be standing & lending me their shoulder.
No one can bring me up & tear me down @ all.

I've to be strong, to face this with them.
I've to continue standing up high & move on :-D

Anisia, you can do it.

Campcampcamp.

2010-03-02T23:40:00.003+08:00

I hate my dad.
Always suspecting this & that.
Don't even trust me.
Hate to come home, to face all this attitude & naggings.
For nothing, got scolded.
Don't even know whats happening.
Felt like a idiot.

Off to bed, Camp tomorrow.
Heading over myself.
Will end on Friday afternoon (-:

Gotta be happy :-D
Thanks Huang & Sim for being there for me, always.

I wish i could describe the fear.

2010-03-01T08:42:00.005+08:00

Those fear that has been in me since that day, i wish i could put it into words and describe it.

I've so much in mind.
Hoping you're always here to share and carry this burden with me.

I know alot of things have change between us. I know this will stay for the time-being only. I won't be able to grab hold of this for long. You don't even bother to tell me what're you thinking or what do you've to say )-:Don't make me feel this way, please. Show me the way, guide me through.

Its been long since i've open up and told what

exactly i'm thinking and going through.

Cpa lesson right nao.
School is ending @ 1PM & training will start.
Hopefully it turns out fine ( prays )
Just nao was having art lesson before recess.
Used T's sonny iphone all the way for 1hour 40 minutes.
Facebooking & played the Moron test.
So idiotic, I cannot break the game ):
Hopefully huang download it & i can start playing that game!

Yawn, i'm bloated now.
Couldn't finish my rice just now, againnnnnn ~
I'm tired.

Daddy probably coming to fetch me @6PM after traqining.
Byebye !

2010-02-28T01:12:00.002+08:00

Hello!
Guess who I am? :D
Caicai is eating her fillet-o-fish meal at yewtee mac.
& I'm having my cheesecake. Heh!

Fcuk them, seriously.

2010-02-26T23:05:00.003+08:00

Who love friendship breaker ?
Who on earth can actually tolerate such people ?

You'll never trust me.

Today was tiring ): Waiting for huang right now.
Headed to cckcc to meetup with Alex, Jurrel, Joseph, Herrsong, Happyseed.
Been so long since we all met up.
Went for dinner at 145, Did not had the appetite.
Cab home with brother & vomitted everything out.

Feeling so unwell yet i've to entertain all the nonsense,
All the shitz .
it will never come to an end.
The story had not come to an end.
I'm glad i'm not heading to drink tonight.
Or else i've no idea which drain i'll vomit into today.
I told myself not to drunk myself to hide everything.
I just want to pour everything out.
)-: Been so long since i sit next to Huang & borrowed her shoulder.
probably gotta do it tonight, again.

Like what we've said, this seems to be fate.
Their words weights alittle more.
I stand no where.
I see myself in no position to compare with them.

I'll never get the final say.

Time for beeeeeeed (-:

Lets welcome back.

2010-02-23T23:29:00.002+08:00

Probably i should welcome back ' moodswings '
Stayed home the whole day,
Did not even took a step out of the house @ all.
Don't feel well, Don't feel excited.
Been either in the living room or lock in my room.
Feeling feverish right now.
Wondering will it worsen tomorrow.
Don't look forward for tomorrow @ all, Don't wish tmrw to come.
Yet i want tonight to end faster.

Suddenly felt alittle afraid.
Didn't open my mouth to talk much to my parents today.
Keep wanting to burst into tears.
Tried calling someone, wanted someone to be here like the past to hear me pour out.
No answer, No pickup, No reply.
Gaveup.
Promised to be there, Yet i don't see them anywhere.

Suppose to accompany Huang over to Amk, Overslept.
don't feel like waking up @ all just now.
Forced myself, dinner & telly all the way.
Now i really hate sleeping alone in the room, feeling so quiet.
Always wanting to open my mouth to talk,
But realize there isn't anyone in the room.
Thought of the past, When my brother was still in the room with me,
He is always there to accompany me to talk.
Have to go through all this alone, for years again.

School was fine today.
Did not fall asleep through lesson, stayed awake.
Did my Ebs coursework, Almost completing.
Probably would be the fastest to complete it.
Done with my english letter writing, wrote it twice. Hand almost dropped out.
Done with writing the formulae on Maths ( 1 )
Not done with Math ( 2 ) & Workbook, going to complete it after updating blog.
After school, bus home.
Reached home, saw Adrian & Ahyi @ home.
Watched Thomas & friends in the room with Adrian.
Fall asleep afterwards & They left.

Tmrw there will be morning run.
I don't want to sweat, i don't want to run ):
There is pe tmrw, I don't want to run ):
There is training tmrw, I don't want to sweat ):

Thats why i always hate wednesday, serious.
Gotta go through the most tiring day of the week.
Hopefully it rains tmrw in the morning.
& cloudy in the afternoon.

Say no to Rain in the afternoon, No to physical.
Lastweek physical killed me.
And i just came to realize that, This weekend has no plans @ all.
Been 4 weeks since we're plan-less man.

Feeling very down, Tried my best to update as requested.
Still considering what should be my new blog's name ):
Any ideas ? o.O

Goodbye!
Tags replied (:

Sangrui: Haha. miss you too chua chua.

Miss you too.

-.-: ya u shld jus close down

Ha, I don't think it ever does concerns you. Please leave far away from my tagboard / blog.

pbs: because I don't wish to see her close down her blog or move to somewhere else. not like others.

don't close your blog (: and, I haven't talk to you on msn.

What do you mean by ' not like others ' ? I don't quite get you. Do chat with me on msn if you've the chance alright. Cause i've no idea which is you :D

Sonny(T): Tagged
:D Thanks.

Shiyu: Lol. So many unknowns

Move to where? Lol.
To your heart la. Ignore those unknowns (:

Sangrui: yea. you the best. ♥ & dun close down your blog. C:
Haha, Shall consider k.

a.Lex: hey .tagged ya ~ .takecare ..
Thanksthanks (:

Moving.

2010-02-22T20:23:00.003+08:00

Probably moving to a new space, a new life.
Probably this space has leave down too many past & history.
Always clicking & reading it & having flashback when i'm missing it.
Time to change my life, time to adapt to it.

Though i hate adapting to new life, new environment,
But this time round,
I've to get used to it, I've to start learning.
I don't want to be stuck onto the same old spot anymore.
Its time to undressed my wound & accept the fact.
Time to go down the track bravely by myself.

School was a bad start today,
I knew something would happen, I know something would spoil my mood.
Faced the day with a disappointed mood.
Skipped training, headache.
Home to sleep all the way to 7.30pm.

Going to prepare now & catch ' The wolfman ' @ Lot1.

I won't deny that i miss you, after so long.

6more days to checkup.

Goodbye.

Lazyyyy.

2010-02-21T16:28:00.003+08:00

Have not been updating for the past weeks.
Probably letting my blog rot till i find back the passion for blogging.

Will update roughly how my weeks goes.
Will not go into details, Very tired.

V's day, surprised.
Thanks to those who got me presents / roses.
Reached home around 4am after having Mac's @ yewtee.

&There goes Chinesenewyear Day 1 & day2.
Day 3 went to our own friend's house.
Day2, All of them came my house @ 1am & gamble till morning 7am.
All went for Breakfast @ timah.
Something disappointed me, Don't wish to rant.
Than home sweet home.

Wednesday start of school, stayed back for trainings.
Trained under the sunny-rain.
6.30pm, ended.
Home & fever & rest @ home for 2 days.
Thursday stayed home till night & went out for dinner & home.

Friday, Met ahxing & shiyu to farmart resturant for ice-cream while i had my fish & chips.
Ahxing's treat.
Send Shiyu off to bukitpanjang & homesweethome for me.
Slept till all the way 9pm & woke up to prepare.
Cab to Jab & rot there till 6am.
Took care of Sangrui & drank coke all the way.
Cab home together with T , JQ, Z .
The cab's driver dang power, like initial D.

Saturday,
Sangrui & shiyu overnight @ my place.
Prepared & Yewteepoint for LongjohnSliver.
Watched ' The lighting thieves ' , 10/10.
Afterwards, Kfc for dinner for them not me.
Slacked & Jeremy's house for gambling.
Again for them, not me.
I rot all the way there watching them play.
Shiyu came & off to Farmart all the way till 6am early in the morning !
I almost dozed off @ there, Walked out of Farmart.
302 for breakfast & homesweethome.
On the way home, Sangrui texted me telling me she've no keys to go home.
U-turned to ave5 & home again.
Slept all the way till now.
Probably 6.30pm, Shiyu's place.
Still considering if i should go over, comfirm bored.

So much complications.
But note,
I won't bother to text you if you don't bother to text me @ all.

I don't know which words of yours is true.
I don't know when should i trust you.
You seems attracted to others, yet you don't seems you are.
I don't know what're you thinking.
I don't know how should i bring myself to believe everything.
Its just like a story which is ending.
Its just like a ending that will always be repeating.
Sometimes i really miss & wish that i could grab hold of the past again.
But i realized, its all too late.
Things won't go back to before.
I hope i could bring all the hopes back.
Bring the courage to face the truth.

Update another time, Moodless & Tired.
Probably closing down my bloggggggggggggggggggggggg !

Surprised by you.

2010-02-13T12:23:00.004+08:00

I wanna hit down to westcoast park tonight.

I don't care who you're or what do you want.
You'll never be able to beat me down (-:
Tag all the shits you want, seriously.
Try harder , spammers / passerby.
If you guys have the guts, don't hide behind the computer & name yourself as passerby.
Just come straight to my face & tell me.
Don't dirty my blogggie, Thank you belly jelly velly kelly much !

Haven't been updating blog.
& did not decide to update my blog @ all.
Cause its rotting & rotting.
One word = Lazy.
Lastnight was atrocious.
I took care of my brother cause he was drunk & he was sucha troublesome.
I brought him up & he can even sleep in the kitchen.
I spent time clearing for him & took warm water for him.
First time i did all this things, in my life.
than i managed to fall asleep around 7.30am.
Than wokeup @ 10.30am )-:
Waiting & waiting & waiting like 1 idiot.

Lastnight, i know something was bothering me.
I know my heart was aching.
I know after i knew everything, i will change my point of view of you.
I didn't want to drunk myself again.
I didn't want to numb my pain.
I just want to feel it & learn to growup.
I told myself not to run away & avoid the fact.
I should face it, I should be brave.
If i could take the past up & let it go & none of them is affecting me now,
Why can't i do it the same for now ?
Its just so complicated.

I gotta go soon, Someone is reaching in 2 stops.
& i've not prepare @ all.
Huang called just nao, Was worried about her the whole night.
Lucky Sim got home safely as well.
(-:
Byebye!

Shocked, Contented.
Someone texted me, telling me something.
Really surprised.

8pm.
Just finished bathing.
Had so much fun during reunion dinner with family.
So much jokes & lamechop.
Had steamboat & it was totally awesome.
daddy & mummy brought too much food & now there alot of leftovers.
Haha, They asks us to bring our friends up one day to eat steamboat.
Yay! I'm going to jio my friend their up for steamboat man.
4hours more, Cny & v's day.
Wondering what should i wish them ?
Happy Chinese New Year or Happy V's Day ?
Sounds odd to wish both but guess i'm not going to wish.
Cause the surprised i want to have, is not there anymore.
Later meetingup with Huang & sim & Chua & Tan for idk ?
Lol.
Going to take my things later.
Wondering wondering wondering.
Hmmmm.
Daddy jio-ed us to drink tonight, so funny.
He can't stop laughing @ 2nd brother for his hangover & drunkness!
So stupid, lucky i was strong enough to stay awake lastnight.
Tmrw gotta wakeup @ 10am.

Going out soon.

I'm really affected by what i heard,
I didn't wanna choose to believe it, but it sounds so true.
)-: Explain to me ?
Sighz.

I don't want to fall in love anymoreeeeeeee .

Nothing special, V's day.

2010-02-09T23:42:00.003+08:00

Team finally gotten into Top4 & National.
But i don't feel like playing anymore.
Sick & tired of games.

Its how funny when one tell you, They miss you, Yet in their heart is still lingering with other person.

Okay, I'm down with sickness ):
Damn hard to talk with my throat all dried.
No matter how much water i drink, It still doesn't works @ all.
Falling sick really sucks, honestly.
I went home through school half-way.
I couldn't stand with my illness.
Home & slept all the way.
Too tired.
Moodless as well.

5more days, not looking forward @ all.
I don't want to fall sick during CNY ):
I want to eat my Bagua & Steamboat @ home.
Shiatshiatshiatz !
God, Quickly heal me up.
I want to eat nicenice food during chinesenewyear.
& say ' happy new year ' & get my redpakets ):

V's day is coming.
Nothing special, Not for singlebabies.
But its okay (: Cause i know Huang & co is there for me.
Will be meeting them on that day, most probably.
Everyday is V's day, so whats so special about 14feb man.
Its just a date, a day where all couples to go.
Don't all couples meet up & go out everyday whenever & so they like ?
lol.
Nothing special, to me.

Yawn, Seriously.

I know, Forever is just a word.
Hiding in my heart will only lead to misunderstanding.
Just looking @ the white space,
I know everything is just totally impossible.
I've never dare to think & dream of it, since that day.
I don't have to make myself suffer & go into sucha emotional mood.
I can take it up easily & let go easily.
I don't have to be affected by whats happening around you.
I don't have to, really.
You won't be much affect in my life.
i won't let it happened the third time.
(-:
Perhaps I've changed over years, months.
Sometimes i don't like to be reminded of the past.
Though flashback & memories do hurt,
But getting it over very fast.
Its awesome that they are still somewhere in me. But they never going to stand a place in my life, anymore.
Like i've say, Sometimes we shouldn't turn back in life @ all.
It will only repeat & repeat the stories itself.
So don't plead, don't sweettalk.
It will never work.
Won't be going to fall for the same trap, same pain for the 2nd time.
It okay to be reminded of now, its okay to think back.
But its totally suck to get back to the past.
Appearing, disappearing, appearing, disappearing.
The list goes on & on ..

I've no idea why i'm talking about this.
But it just came into my mind.
Just want to say it out to make myself feel better.
Though anger is filling up in me.
But, I'll be fine tomorrow morning when i'm awake.

I've been appreciating everyone's concern.
The care they have been giving.
But all i can say is, Sorry.
I'm not ready @ all.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7.
I know you all will read my blog.
I hope you get my meaning, honestly.

You know how special everything could be.
Its just like being in another world without anyone.
But this will only last for awhile, yes i know.
Its just like a habit of living in a world & life like this.
But the World is rotating & moving everyday.
Life just have to simply change.

We can never trust guys words easily.
They drank too much sweet-talks.
Winkwink ^^

Goodnightz !

Tags replied.

2010-02-08T11:17:00.005+08:00

Sonny(T): TAGGED
Noted, Thanks.

6 Feb 10, 00:02
Yiting: can sell me your blanket not? haha! tagged anyway,see you in school.
Cannot, My blanket got my smell already. lol. Thanks for helping me to keep my Fujiapple just now ah. lol.

5 Feb 10, 23:45
ZJ ♥: View & TAGGED ~
Noted, thanks.

5 Feb 10, 19:10
Yingqi: Hey okay recovering soooon! Monday, good match Anisia. Recover soon girl.
See you on court, later (: No hard-feelings no matter whats the score ye.

5 Feb 10, 12:06
Pb: Stay happy! ignore those useless guys out there. You know thers is better ones.
(: Thanks alot, I know, i definitely know.

4 Feb 10, 23:46
..: To: Ohyeah, Your friend now 18 cfm can take what. aft that batch cannot alrd la -.-
..: Hey anisia, nice blog you have, alright i heard many pple says 21 mah :O
..: to: Okayyyy, I dont know what.
Thanks (: No, Indeed there is plans about reaching the age of 21 than it can get ones' lic. But it has not come to an decision yet. So for the meantime, as long as you've hit the age of 18, Lic is still welcome for you (: Thanks for coming to my bloggggg :D

4 Feb 10, 22:05
Elisa: HAHAHA! (lol)
You siao ah ? Crazyinsanefellow. HAHA!

4 Feb 10, 09:58
Tessa: But they're getting out of board. Maybe you should clarify the matter by yourself ? You're pretty (:
It doesn't affects me @ all (: I don't have to clarify anything to them. Hah, Thanks alot.

3 Feb 10, 20:56
Pb-...: 1990 is the last batch of taking lic 1991 and above, 21 then can take car lic.
Noooooo (: Its not true.

3 Feb 10, 20:18
-SHANNA♥: link me up. (:
You're linked (:

I didn't realized that,

All along without you by my side, It would hurt so badly.

Start of the day, it was a bad day for me.

I was reminded of something,

I was thinking of so much things.

Lastnight was a late night for me.

Rolled around my bed & managed to fall asleep @ 4am.

Just 2 days ago,

Yet i felt like its has been so long.

I wonder when will it be the next.

)-: Sighz.

4.15, Clementi sports hall later on.

Not prepared, Don't even want to play.

Don't have the mood, doubt i'll perform later again.

Leaving school @ 3.30.

English lesson just now, choosen to go for Debating session.

But in the end, i choose to help them in their research only.

Cause i can't click with this class @ all.

So research will be for me while the rest will go debate.

Don't want to emabarasses myself infront of the whole uppersec.

tsktsk, I'm bloated ): I'm full.

Going off nao, byebye.

Life is just so realistic.

2010-02-08T00:27:00.005+08:00

Everything i once had,
Everything i once went through,
everything just became memories.
I could only have flashback, I could only think of it.
I know i'll never grab hold of any of it anymore.
I know i can never turn the times back,
I know even if things were to be back the same,
The situation will be totally different.
We'll never be able to sense the past anymore.
be it 1month, 3 months, 8 months, 1 year, 3 years, 5years or 7years.
We can never have anything back @ all.
I was too foolish, too dumb,
To actually thought i can salvage things again.
But i've been total fool.
Today, i realize so much things,
It was just my wishful thinking, sometimes.

When i knew it, I wanted to pretend that i didn't hear or seen it.
I wanted to pretend that i did not know about it @ all.
But it was so hard, it actually did affect.
Now, i know how hard the impact can be.
I really did not want to place my emotional right here,
On this blog.
But, I've just realize something as well.
Its been so nong since i shared with Huang my stuffs.
Sometimes its just so hard to open my mouth,
to say everything out.
The feeling is just totally so different already.
Everytime i wanted to turn to someone, i realize they were all gone.
Life is just so realistic, friends come & go.

I really wish i could just control my feelings,
For not getting hurt too much.
Though i know i'll always get hurt in the end.
But, infact,
What hurts the most was just being too close.
Thus i've been keeping my distance,
Not getting too close, watch my words & control myself.

I should be on my bed right now,
Yet i find myself having difficulty falling asleep.
Sometimes i wish night will never come.
I hate to wakeup.

I hate to know that, no one is waiting for me downstair.
I hate to know that, Valentine isn't a couple day for me.
I hate to know that, I've no sweet messages to received.
I hate to know that, I've no presents to receive on V's day.
I hate to know that, I always have to depend on myself.

I really want to move on,
I really want to find back myself.
I can't continue life, this way.

Whatever, enoughenoughenough of emo-ing )-:
Really wish that day @ iluma, i would see someone.
Tsktsk.

20th is approaching, something gonna happen that day.
Yet, I'm not really looking forward,
Infact, I'm much more afraid.
Just 12 more days to go ..
Sighz.

If only i could be stress-freeeeeeeeeeee .
)-:-( Life is just so tsktsk.
Alrights, turning in soon after a call.
Goodnightz .

I know we can never turn years back (-:
Not pinning hopes,
But just disappointed about the falsehopes.

I'll never dream about it anymore,
I just want to live day-by-day ;D

Drunkard.

2010-02-07T00:15:00.003+08:00

Lastnight, was havoc.
Total havoc, Huang knows my mood was really down.
She knows i was definitely affected.
She knows i was having too much flashback.
I was feeling so terrible lastnight.
Huang , Joy & Sim took care of me, turns by turns.
Huang told me she see me looking so uncomfortable.
She says i look like i've difficulties in speaking.
& i kept pushing people around me away.
I felt so irritated.
She told me my head kept knocking against the basin & wall so hardly.
I somehow could remember alittle lastnight,
I somehow forgotten things that happened lastnight.
The pain was just right here.
The ache was what i felt lastnight.
I'm the oldest among them, I should be taking care of them.
It was Joy's birthday, I should stay awake.
But i couldn't make it around 12am +

Headed to Bugis today with Huang, J , B-K, J.
Yong was suppose to tag along with us,
But he lied to me, he put us aeroplane.
Didn't want to bother about it too much.
Trained to Bugis & shop.
): @ first i did not buy anything,
I brought 2 topshop boxer & a Praise tee yesterday.
Today, Nothing caught my eyes.
Walk & headed to Illuma for dresses.
Brought 2 dresses & Huang brought 1 dress.
I guess i wanna go down again tmrw for more dresses ):

Nao i'm home, feeling so unwell.
I wanna vomit, I find my gastric so terrible.
My headache is also murdering me badly.
I wish i would be fine by Monday.
I can't skip that match, totally can't.
Out of all the matches, Monday is the match i wanted to play most.
The game i wanna fight for everything.

Update more another day, Have not uploaded all the photos onto computer.
Reply tag in next update,
Nao, I can't face the computer anymoreeeeeeeeeee.
My headache is -'- totally a idiot thing.

Its been so nong.
nao, everything is turning back.
I hate myself for being like this.
I hate myself for speaking so much mean stuffs to you.
But, What said has been say.
I can't take it back, neither can i pretend that i did not blurt it out before.
I know i'm mean,
I know i've changed,
I don't know the reason for my changes.
But i definitely know, I'm still me.

Jabjab.

2010-02-04T18:47:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow going to meet them & hit down to Jabjab for Joy's birthday.
Finally Sim is joining us after Mia-ing from us for a week or so.
Hopefully tmrw everyone gonna be strong & not getting drunk so easily.
Hahhhhhhhh !
People around me should know that,
I don't really drink in the past.
I remembered someone texted me & asked me to takecare,
Asking me to cut down on drinking nowadays.
I replied with
' You taught me this, You were like this in the past as well. I learn everything from you '
Though i can't believe i actually say this to him.
But, Its from the bottom of my heart.
He knows i always dislike him drinking, but ..
Ok, I shouldn't talk so much about him anymore.
Bet he has forgotten about me or has already got a new girlfriend.
Don't want to be so draggy & Nosy about all this stuffs anymore.

Heading down to Bugis later to get Joy's cake with Huang & E.
Actually suppose to accompany my parents for Chinese's newyear stuffs.
But i don't think i am following them,
Cause we need the cake tmrw night.

& I just came back from my Facial appointment.
I fell asleep though the procedure.
Feel so much refresh nao,
But i have to wait for those redmarks to disappear after tmrw or Saturday.
Hopefully it don't stays on my face tooooo long.
And because i did Facial, & my knee still hurt,
I guess i'll have to skip training tmrw afternoon & come home to sleep.
Monday is match & i'm afraid my kneecap won't get any improvement.

And hopefully Yingqi & co have a speedyrecovery.
So we can have a good-match on the court.

Yawnnnn ! I have completed all my homework today in school.
Like a happy only.
& i helped Pek to mark her math paper.
Hiakhiak.
Okok, I better stop blogging.
Saturday going down to Bugis with Huang for Chinesenewyear clothing.
Woots !

I've made up my mind,
Not to bother about who're you going to contact or so.
Be it your dazhu, xiaozhu or muzhu.
I won't comment much anymore.
Do whatever you like (:
Contact whoever you want (:
Meet anyone you wish (:
You say you couldn't find it back,
Perhaps its because someone is going to step into your life.
All the best to you & perhaps ' her ' .

Too much had happened.
I wanna get high tomorrow night.
-'-

See you later !
Miss you deepdeep.

Why am i still looking around for you .

2010-02-03T19:02:00.004+08:00

This morning, ran 1.6km.
Came in 4th for my class and i ran with two of my sonny & sebes @ the end.
Wanted to look for buddy during the run,
But nomatter how fast i tried to chase up those class infront,
i couldn't find him.
Pek was surprised that i did run.
Anyway, than aftermath, Cpa lesson & did all the coursework.
After 2 hours of Cpa, Pe lesson.
Slacked all the way, i was too tired to continue excerising.
Recess & changed up, cheese tofu.
Back to class with my Fuji apple and its math lesson.
Chinese lesson than Pek's lesson.
Phone was taken away from me after recess.
Couldn't contact anyone & felt it so terrible.
End of school, canteen to look for bballers & changed up.
Training till 6.30pm.
A match with C'boys & we did our defend correctly @ the back.
Sprained my kneecap, My foot is still swollen.
I don't know how the hell am i going to play for Monday's match.
Dad fetched & drove me home.

Seriously, Someone showed me a blog just now.
A girl that ' N ' contacted.
The war that involve N , Me & her.
Its really childish, All the passerby stop accusing her.
Its not her fault for us to breakup, She does not even contact N when we were together.
She not the cause for N & me to stop contacting.
Its just N & Me who is in fault.
Stop please stop going around disturbing people, its really childish.
Don't drag me into the water when i know nothing.

Today, Couldn't stay focus during trainings.
Huang should know why when i said this.
Got distracted times & times.
Coach kept asking me whats wrong & where is my soul.
I can feel the great pain, deep in me.
I don't know why am i having this regrets again.
Will it be like the past, It just lingers in me awhile & leave ?
Somewhere in me, I know you're lingering around.

Don't want to be a emokid.
Don't want to be the cause of anything.
I don't want to be anyone's venting machine.
I don't want you to vent your anger on me when you had a argument with your parents.
Sighz , What am i exactly to everyone ?

I miss you showing me ' A a A a A a A a '
True enough, its just some missing parts that i should go through.
(:

No one says forever to me, never.
I will never take it real, cause its plain lies.

Don't feel like attending school tmrw @ all.
Byebye, Might be heading downstair.

10.54pm , back home.
I'm turning in right nao.
very tired, Met up with Ziqun & Joyce just nao @ yewtee.
Dinner with them & lepak & home.
too tired, kneecap hurting me alotalot.
I don't think i will be going school tmrw.
Wish me goodluck in the painful journey through the facial.
SqueezeSqueeze, ouch ):
HAH !
Goodnights.

Tags replied.

3 Feb 10, 13:52

Emiko: Where did you bought your bling bling spectacles? You are pretty (:
I brought it online, You can try going to blogshops to search for it. But now, Bugis is already selling it already. Have no idea if its totally the same ;D Thanks!

3 Feb 10, 08:28

Tessa: Anyway, You're being the hot topic in ' http://buymethatexpensiveguy.blogspot.com ' Tag's board.

Tessa: Hello! You're adorable, stay strong ye.
Thanks alot, Tessa. Ha, Hot-topic ? Nah, It ain't my concern. Its just some nosy-people trying to attract attention over there. Let those passerby be (:

3 Feb 10, 01:02

to ..: can la.-.-'' my friend is taking his lic. now. -.-'' he's 18
Oh! Yesyes, True. But indeed there is rumour the age of 21 taking lic.

2 Feb 10, 22:34

Sonny(T): TTAAAGGGGGGEEDDDDD
BYEBYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :D

2 Feb 10, 22:18

..: Now is 21 yr old then can get car lic. 18 cannot alrdddd.
Its just rumours, my dear (: We still can have our lic @ the age of 18.

2 Feb 10, 16:45

Gaston: Tagged=)
Thanks alot, Gaston. See you in school !

1 Feb 10, 23:37

liu yong kang: BE HAPPY!
Stupid LYK , lol. You should be the one being happy, not me. haaaa :D

1 Feb 10, 20:55

SARAH: likea finally hihi darlinz~

SARAH: TAGGED.
haha, Hihi babyyye ! :D Misses deep.

catherineLEE: hahahah!!! hello anisia!!!=D
Hiakhiak, Hello CatherineLEE. All the best for tmrw's match k!

1 Feb 10, 17:28

eugene: TAGGG ! MY TAG BIGGEST:D
Biggest, Yay! You win k. Need me to give you a medal for it ? lol.

31 Jan 10, 13:44

Elisa: tagtagtag!
Thankthankthankyouyouyou forforfor taggingtaggingtagging (: (: (: lol.

30 Jan 10, 16:38

name...: Just someone lo, stay cheerful. xD

:o alrights if you ain't gonna tell me who you are, Not going to force you. You've to stay cheerful as well ! :D

I'll always be there & never drift.

2010-02-03T00:31:00.005+08:00

I did not intend to update my blog @ all.
Till i received a message.
A nongnong message to tell me how exactly he feels.

I'm sorry for making you feel that way.
I'm sorry for drifting away from you.
I can only tell you that,
I'm still there for you when you need me.
I did not reply to that email you sent me cause i thought i isn't a need to do so.
I've never felt that you were irritating to me.
You told me you did not want to care anymore,
But is this what you really want ?
If you really want to leave and be free by yourself,
by all means.
I also have no control over you.
But i still miss wearing your white h.
Its been quite a while since you had pillar me to anywhere.
Its been so long since we've met eachother.
I know its totally my fault for drifting away, for making you think so much.
Thanks for being there for me whenever i needed someone.
Still, I've no idea what else to say.
But i've no idea why would you think that way.
Its a nong time since i saw him, i met him, i talked to him, i contacted him.
Just a few days and you say this kind of things.
I've no idea why would you have that feeling.
But, didn't i once told you whats between him & me ?
We were just b&s.
I know you'll definitely think so much,
thus i had never mentioned anything about this @ all.
I did not wanna stress you up.
But i didn't expect you to voice it out so soon.

I'm turning in real soon.
My right foot is swollen.
It hurts when i moved alittle, but still bearable.
There 1.6km run tmrw morning during assembly.
Theres Pe lesson tmrw.
There is training tmrw till 6pm.
I guess i'm going to breakdown once i reach home tmrw night.
Yawn.

Who going to celebrate v's day with meeeeeeeee .
I can't wait to get C.packets.
I need moolahs for shopping (:

Saturday for newyearclothing with Huanghuang.
Friday night, J1 again.
Friday night, Celebrating Joy's birthday with Huanghuang & simsim.
Nextmonday, Match against Dunearn @ 4.15pm.
Studycamp during March.
X-ray on 1st of March.
Huang's birthday approaching real soon.
Roston coming back this friday night
( Sorry, can't fetch you with them. Will meet you guys up real soon )
I miss night life with Roston, Shiyu, Jon, Sangrui, Xin, Hs, Yq.
Its been so long since we all gathered.
I miss balling & sitting down to talk with Happyseed, Alex, Joseph, Jurrel, Weiren, Jon, Roston.
I'm not happy that Hi,My Sweetheart just ended with a lousy ending.
N'level works are killing me.
I keeps dozing off in class frequently.
I'm getting more & more tan.
I miss going Westcoast to look @ the sea.
I want my Big soft toys.
I want presents for Valentine day. ( Ha )
I saw a Le Coq Sportif Jacket today @ causeway & I love it very much.
I need to get a new schoolbag.
I've to start doing all the maths sum all by myself.
B'girls have to get into Top4 this year.
I need to work for my incomes.
I don't need hypocrites to backstab behind my back.

Okay, a nongnong list.
Someone called me ' Miss nongnong ' a few days back.
Sounds so awful.

I really wanna perform well on Monday.
The whole teams wants to get into National this year.
We've been training so hard,
We've been under the sun & get tan.
We've conflicts, dispute & disagreement.
Some of them have to change their attitude.
one for all, all for one.
Loves. ▼

Hah!
Please don't think so much.
Nothing is going to happen, alrights ?
I promise i'll not drift away ~

Dumbboy, Don't be sad about your grandpa's passing away.
People comes & go.
Its time for him to leave to somewhere better.
Don't pull a sad face anymore k.
See you real soon, don't tire yourself from school & trainings + grandpa's funeral.
Everything will go smoothly.

Thanks for making my day a wonderful one.
Tooth fairy was a hilarious movie today.
Enjoyed it belly jelly much.
I've been nagging that i wanna sleep since the top of my post.
I can't wait to watch The Spy Next Door.
Lalaaa ~
Time to logged off, Goodnight earthlings!

Twister.

2010-02-01T21:16:00.002+08:00

Iguessthecaptiontotallysuitsme,bigtime.

idon'tunderstandwhydopeoplelovestotwisttheirwords.
You make it sounds like i did something bad.
Why don't you compose it in a better sentence ?
I don't want to text you to asks you or anything.
Once i read that sentence,
You said,
" A " no more,
Heard so much about you.
Can't be bothered about it anymore.

Why can't you phrase it in a better way rather than making others think i've done something wrong.
And is it my fault to cause them fall for me & i get the blame ?
I can't control this kinda of thing, its not under my control @ all.
You don't even understand the whole situation.
Than have i ever blame you before that ' this ' likes you, ' that ' don't wanna break with you ?
You always give me the last option & didn't want to even hear me explain.
You always love to make things look so ugly, you'll then be statisfied.
Whats wrong with someone loving you / me ?

I did not even say anything when i heard P likes you & P went to your house there.
I did not even say anything when i heard you this & that, that & this.

Don't you realize that i've given in alot since the day you contacted me back ?
I did not even showed my attitude @ all ?
I've been talking to you nicely, cause i see you as my friend.
Till today when you showed me attitude,
I still talked to you nicely.
I did not flare up like the past anymore.

But if you can't be bothered,
Than i also will also not be bothered.
Indeed, I heard more about you, than what you heard from Jack about me.

But still let me tell you,
Beware of your friends around you,
they do backstab. & its deep enough for you to go crazy.

Since now, I'll pretend we've never known eachother.
You want this to be so cruel & ugly.

don't blame me.
Cause you've totally made me lost my ego.
But,
我一定會好好過

Thanks for wishing me for having a speedy recovery.
Hope you will leave BT real soon & nothing will happen to your case.

Imma feeling real down.
Since training started.
I saw someone, i tried to pull my eyes away.
Walked out, i thought was planning to run away.
Till F told me they went for jogging.

&
I know its never my business anymore (:

Going down for a walk nao.
Friday, i just wanna drown myself.
Everytime when we had planned to drink,
Something unhappy would happen & spoil my mood ):
Hate it, Dislike it, Anti it.
Update when i'm back homeeeeeee .

Anisia will definitely stand strong by herself.
Cause she have been doing that since the day she got single (:
& Definitely thanks for their support.

Beees attackkkk !

2010-02-01T19:12:00.003+08:00

Most probably heading down for a jog.
Just came back from training.
Dad came to drove me & i sprained my left hand fourth finger.
Today school was horrible.
My mood went up & down, couldn't stand it.
All thanks to my gastric.
I get so irritated during training all thanks to the hot-sun.
have to go get washup then prepare for a jog by myself.

i tried being nice,
i had tried my best.
but you did not seen it, you treated me so mean.
To prove that you're strong.
I'll prove to you that i can stand along, all by myself.

I hope we don't driftapart.
We have so much to talk in the past.
Right nao, Our message gets lesser.
Today marks the longest we did not meet up with eachother.
Its been 4days.
What else can i say ?
I can only say, find the one which suits you.
I realize i bring too much misery to you & too much for you to think bout.
Though i only have myself to blame for drifting apart.
But, sometimes i did not mean to say those things.
I've my reason.
^^

Why does things always turn out this way ?
None of them meet up to their promises.
They all left when they promise to stand with me forever.
They promised to be there for me whenever i need them.
I don't trust, i don't want to believe anymore.
Guys are jerks, Ladies are toy.

I want my soft-toys ):
I want it big & huge.
I want it to occupied my own bed & sleep with me everynight.
I miss my huge&big minniemouse!
Lastnight was a nightmare.
The whole of this building of mine, has got bee attack everywhere.
): I almost cried out man.
So scary ~ Spooky!

Stay-homed.

2010-01-31T17:46:00.002+08:00

Just finished bathing after packing my whole house with my parents & 2 brother.
Lastnight i remembered i slept @ 5.30am after msging J to apologise.
Thats the time i can really fall asleep peacefully.
& i wokeup @ 10.30 am ): 5 hours of sleep, Totally not enough.
Ate alittle bit of breakfast & started packing my rooms for whole of 5 hours.
>.< Than storeroom & done.
Living room, dining room, brother's room, parent's room,
I did not helped @ all.
I'm a lazy-bum & i've changed the placing of my computer & cardboard.
Was really hesitating @ first, Don't want to adapt to a new environment.
My dad even suggest me to change the place of my bed.
I say No.

He say : You really like to be stuck in the past.
You don't like to adapt to a new life / environment.

I know what he mean, but i kept quiet.
Than i'm waiting for them to finish bathing & preparing.
We're heading to eat my Curry & Chili crabbbbb!
Total love man.
Than Ikea for my room furniture.
I'm heading to buy my newyear clothe nextweek.
& Metup with Buddy lastnight & he asked me to buy the same as him.
Steady, i shall buy 3 of it.
Its just $90.
Guess daddy will pass me money.
Hopefully he gives me a $200 or $250.
Cause i don't wanna shop @ Bugisstreet, The material isn't that good @ all.

Ok.
Mummy called me.
Heading out.
& YAY !
My bigbrother gotten his own car already.
I'm gonna sit his car later on with my 2nd brother.
My Mummy will be sitting on my Father's car.
2 car outing. Heeeee.
Lovelove man.

Can't wait for this coming-saturday.
Drinking session & Meeting 204.
Goodbye, Will update more when i've reached home.

Drunkard.

2010-01-30T18:56:00.002+08:00

他霸占了你的心中 , 属于我的角落

I can't believe it ):
I'M STUCK @ HOME !
Stupid Huanghuang, Last night she sent me home.
Cause i was total drunk & She left my key outside.
Shall rot @ home for the time-being till one kind soul come & retrieve my keys for me.
I should be going over to celebrate my Grandma's birthday.
But i gave it a miss cause i'm having a headache & flu.
Badbadbad flu ):
Kept sneezing non-stop, thanks to Huanghuang for talking behind my back.
Hiakhiakhiak.
Last night was alittle Havoc @ Jab1.
Birthday boy got drunk & vomited in front of us while lying down.
Lucky i was fast enough to avoid his vomiting.
Ahjoy was unlucky enough. Hah.
Huanghuang got tipsy @ the start & I helped her drink.
In the end, When one person asked Joy & me to drink cause he say the alcohol won't moves if we don't drink, so we drank.
After cups & cups, I was the one who was K.O first.
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

Hahaaaaaa.
Joy even asked me to take care of her when she is drunk.
In the end, it was her & Huang who took care of me.
Really thanks man.

Just now chat with Huang on the phone for hours.
It was so funny when she told me i bastard her last night.
Haha, She told me 1 guy were gay.
& she wanna sing with him.
I asked that guy,

Me : Heard you're a gay ?
G : Yes, Who you heard from ?
Me : She told me she wanna sing with you cause you're a gay.
G : * Laughs *

OK, I gotta blame myself for getting drowsy so easily.
Lousy drinker already ):
I only remembered after drinking so much.
Kept singing with Huang & we sang alotalot of songs.

Surprisingly enough, Saw Sheila over there.
We did not talk @ first cause of the past.
Some misunderstanding & conflicts.
Than when i was walking to find Huang, She called me.
& asks me to drink with her.
Ha, Hopefully things are improving right now.

I've been stuck @ home for 5 hours.
Boring & boring, kept complaining to Huanghuang.
Lastnight phone battery died on me.
I remembered lastnight, When i reached home.
I slept on my computer chair & Lester carried me onto my bed.
Than i walked back to my computer chair to sleep again.
& when i wokeup, I don't know how i got onto my bed again.
Maybe i sleep-walk ?

Tmrw will be a completely stay-home day man.
Have to pack my whole room & clothes.
Saddening, Than dinner with family members.
Yawnyawnyawn.
I wonder whats the plan tonight.
Just now Huang asks if i wanna join them for B-Session.
Hah, I'm considering But i guess I'll just skip it.
Later got b-belly ah.
Cannotcannot, must learn how to control, Anisia !

I can't wait for my 18th birthday.
I wanna get my car- license.
I've no worries cause my dad already owns a car.
& i'll be taking over his place when i've my license done.
Coolz, I can save alot of money this way.

Wondering when can i get outta house.
I don't have the mood to blog @ first.
But i came here to kill time & rant my rubbish.
Time to rest myself on my bed.
My back is aching & my flu is murdering me badly.
Goodbye.

我会好好过等你回头
会看到的一定是我

Don't complicate me.
Don't mess me.
Don't confuse me.
4-J1-N1-R

我不问理由
总有个角落会让你想起我
都有我站在这里守候
你留下很多
够我面对寂寞

I remembered lastnight, When i was on the cab with huang & joy.
I remembered myself crying,
Muttering so much nonsense, Asking so much why.
Asking so much question.
Why is the history always repeating itself.
I remembered Huang kept wiping my tears away.
I didn't want to go home @ first,
I did not want to go home & face it myself.
But i manage to got home with Huang's help cause i cmi already.

This is the 2nd time i'm crying after drinking.
I always drink for a reason, to cover up everything.
But when something happy happened, I know troubled will start seeking.
I got it all right, precisely.
When i woke up, so much happened.
All the nonsense they started, all the sensitive thinking they all have.
Indeed i know you guys are worried for me,
I did not contact anyone of you is cause my phone battery died on me.
Messed-up.

Distracted.

2010-01-29T18:57:00.002+08:00

Had our 3rd match today.
Won, But was totally off-form today.
I couldn't perform @ all, I knew it before we started the game.
I knew i won't be able to perform today,
I knew i'll be distracted, I know i'll leave my soul somewhere else.
Pek was alittle frustrated bout my performance,
When it was time-out, She asked me to play like how i played for the previous 2 game.
But i just could not do it.
When we were on the court playing man-to-man, Coach kept shouting for my name.
Still, I gave no response.

I know, I definitely know i'm distracted badly today.
I hardly talk during the match or should i say,
I did not even open my mouth during the whole game.
Whoever who talks to me, i just ignore or nod my head.
Sometime i wish for the better,
I feel like giving up already.
I'm tired from all this games ):
Today was a bad-game for me, I got scratch & pulled badly.
Indeed there is still this ' Fear ' in me whenever we play a match.

I just don't want to fall too badly.
I just don't want to get too hurt.
Cause i know i will get hurt, one day.

there is still a week to go for the lastmatch.
I'm afraid i can't perform again.
After match, De-brief & the whole team got scolded for not performing.
Aftermath, Toilet than out to find Z & R & D.
Chitchat with Z & R.
Watched match awhile & headed to toilet to have myself washup & get a bath.
Off to Yewtee for Lunch + Dinner with Z & R.
Z went home & meet E & T with R.
Home after that, R sent me home.
Like i've said just now,
I'll remember 29th. HAHAAAA.

Cause its the first time you sent me home eh.
But sometimes you look so much more distracted then me.
Don't be too stress about your Jurongwest #7 OR #12 la.
lol, Cheerup alright (:

Have to go prepare & bath right now.
Have to meet Huang & go down to Clarkquey.
Another night to go, Another painful night.
Everyday have to listen to different stories, Which is kinda sick of it.
& thanks for your letter today :D

its 7pm already! Huanghuang should know why.
Omgomg, My phone just rang :O

Byebye monkeys.
I've to go & prepare & smell nicenice.
Hah.

B'girls.

2010-01-27T22:50:00.002+08:00

Match against Huayi today.
Did my best, Given in everything i've today.
My back still hurt, But i did not show it on the court.
Strive for every ball, Focusing on the court.
& i'm glad we've won by 17points.
We're in a highpercentage of getting into top4.
As long as we don't lose to Dunearn more than 14points,
Than the top4 will be ours.
Friday 1.45pm, Newtown.
No matter if its a win-or-lose game,
We still have to give in our best like how we did Today & lastfriday, B'girls.
We'll never say die till the end.
Remember we always say ' one for all, all for one '
We'll correct each & other whenever who is in wrong or @ fault.
We had so much fun during training.
Its been so long since i had so much laughter during training since 2008.
I'm starting to enjoy going training though
during training's time, It brings me to see someone.
Buts its perfectly fine, cause i know the whole team is right there for eachother!

We've just 2 more games to go.
And our placing for top4 will be there.
29January & 8febuary, lets give in all our best.
I know we can do it.
^^

& now my backbone is aching badlybadly.
I think i'm skipping school tmrw to stay @ home to take plenty of rest.
I've to go to the polyclinic to see the doctor again.
Omg, i can't wait to go SGH for a xray ):

I saw someone today at Clementi sports hall.
Guess who.
My first love, And i'm his firstlove too.
Stayed for the first quarter, But too bad ! Didn't get to see him perform.
Only after i left, He told me he shot in quite a few shots.
Saddening siolz.
But glad that they gotten into Top4.

And as for B'boys, Cheerup!
Esp Odell, You've given in your best although you've sprained your ankle before the match.
I saw you striving for every ball you can.
So cheerup alright.

Okiedonkey, I'm turning in real soon.
My back is killing me tremulously.
Byebye.

Glad to see my post is cheering up day-by-day.
Keep it up, Anisia!
Friday night, Drinking session with Huang & Joy again.
Yawn, I need to get myself in a good condition.
Saturday, Aunt's house for Grandma's birthday than Off to meet J & Huang & R & co.
Sunday, Stay-home-day to pack & Dinner with family.

Goodnights everyone.
Withloveeeees.

2010-01-26T13:44:00.002+08:00

I'm back home earlier than the rest.
Had to leave huang alone in school.
Cab home from school at 1pm.
Fell from the stairs when i was having art lesson.
Quite a great fall ):
Hurt my back.
Sighz, I wish i could recover by sleeping later.
So i can play the match tmrw.
Will be leaving school @ 10am & bus over to Clementi sports hall.
Match starts @ 12.30pm.
I wish Someone would text me a goodluck msg like lastfriday.
But i knows its impossible, So forget it.
Today in school, I did not pay attention during Maths & English lesson.
Pe lesson, i did not do any running while the rest did.
Hopefully everything goes well tmr.
There is a mass-jog tmrw morning for the whole Sec4 & Sec5.
I doubt i'm going to jog, Or else my injury would get worst.

Having a headache right now.
Yawns, I'm heading to bed real soon.

Someone told me, You told him lastnight that you miss me.
I've no idea why does my heartache.
But i told myself to move on.
Everything ' he ' told me, Really makes me think you're ultimate cute.
But, You made the decision to stop contacting.
So i won't take my phone & press for your number to message you.
I don't want to be the badperson anymore.
I don't want you to let go of any other girls because of me anymore.
I know there are tons of girls who are falling for you.
Hopefully you treasure them well.
I don't know what ways you did to make them fall for you so deep.
But, mend them. Don't give them false hopes.
" WE " are always engrave in me.
I'll never forget those days when we spend together.
Do takecare of yourself, please.

yikes, I saw Someone online!
Really have no idea why is it still in my contact ?
I thought i deleted it off from every single place including handphone & Facebook ?
Ohmy, Shitz it man.

Ok, I'm turning in right now.
My backbone really hurt badly.
If only you care, if only you could tell me that you still concern.
I remembered you told me
' A smile a day keeps the doctor away '
And you say you wanted to be a doctor when you grow up.
To takecare of me, whenever i'm ill.
But, you don't care anymore.

Goodafternoonz ~

Cpa lesson, boring.

2010-01-25T11:25:00.003+08:00

Computer lab right now.
Feeling alittle tired due to my 3hours of sleep.
Back still aching after a week.
Felt so much better in school today, Ain't that down anymore.
Looking much more on the brighterside.
Cause i know you're living your life happier without me.
You've already decided not to contact me & wanted to surrender your phone.
So don't tell me your phone was being confiscated away.
):

Ok, 30minutes more for me to complete my CPA coursework.
Training at 2pm later, going to die under the sun.
Hopefully i don't bump into unpleasant stuffs.
And i asked Daddy to sign my form today in the morning & i forgotten to bring ):
I was rushing for time, fighting against time.
But still, we were almost late.

Lastnight watch until 3am sia, + i can only watch until part 10.
11 , 12 & 13 got problem, & the quality sucks like shitz.
I rather buy the dvd to watch instead of watching it online man.
Waste my time & prevented me from sleeping ):
There was traffic jam just now ): )-: )))): Sad dao siao.
Was so quiet all the way to school.
But i told myself its not time for me to be like this (:
I should be changing my own life & mood.
Managed to do it.

Stupid sonny, handphone bill 1800+ sia.
Facebook, Msn, Internet lor. Use more lor! Msg C more lor.
Haha! Better learn how to control la, though your parents/grandparents is loaded with unlimited money ah. But money also cannot like that spend want.
CNY going Macau, Must takecare k (:

Byebye!

Goodbye.

2010-01-24T23:55:00.002+08:00

I promise not to agitate you or irritate you from 9pm onward.
I ain't the only one who say you are good @ sweet-talking.
So i can't blame you for having too much girls falling for you.
Since you requested not to contact,
I told myself to respect your decision.
Hope you'll be fine.
Cause all of us knows your temper.

Your stubborn attitude will never change, Hopefully someone can fully accept it then.
9-10months more for you, Jiayou.

Ok, Awake right now.
Tmrw training, Hopefully its going to be fine.
might be catching a movie tmrw night.
Either ' The spy nextdoor ' or ' tooth-fairy '.
I heard its nice, So i wanna watch it.
Today was actually watching together with Happyseed & co for Legion.
But gave it a miss.

Ave 5 in the afternoon.

Totally hate people touching those kind of stupid stuff.
Which drag us down the water.
But lucky Jason was kind enough to remind me some things.
Set free & that stupidguy was caught.
What a unlucky day, Don't even know him yet have to be dragged into the water.
Jason asked me not to go down to Ave5 often.
Yesyes, totally agree.
Thus i don't like going down Ave5, Full of troublemaker.
I go there occasionally to find huanghuang only lo.
And its been ages since Huanghuang came down to Yewtee to find me sia.
Unfair ): Someone tmrw going to find Sugardaddy alrdy siolz.
lol. Hope you take money than can watch movie ah.

And i'm glad ' you ' did not touch that thing @ all.
If not i would not dare to see the outcome.
But it doesn't matters anymore, right ?
We've choose our road.
You walk yours, I walk mine.
Cause i've heard much more today, and its totally enough for me to stuff into my mind.
Hope you'll change to someone with a better temper.
I'm not helping him, I was just asked to help.
But since you won't listen to it out & threw your temper & showed your attitude,
Than i won't continue explaining, Cause i know it will only make the matter worst.
Perhap i really understand your temper.

Headed to buy drink then Sunshine for lunch.
Slacked our day away
Teckwhye for dinner.
Movie
Home-sweet-home.

I'm turning in real soon after i've finish watching Hi My sweetheart esp 12.
Yawn, I'm awaiting for 30th to meetup.

You gave me a call at 6.30pm to tell me.
Lastnight, You told me so much stuff.
You told me its the past, You don't mind it @ all.
I'm so happy that i told the truth, At least i felt so much contented.
You really changed, You ain't like the past anymore.
When i first know you, You wasn't like this.
Your mindset ain't like now.
I'm so glad you've grew up & thought throughly.
I'm glad you had set your mind to study.
I wishes you all the best in your upcoming course @ Shatec eh!

Yawn.
Enough of updating.
Tags time.

Sangrui: Miss you too. meet up soon,
Okay! Prolly nextweekend eh. Come back from genting alrdy hor, We want our present horz.

Emiline.T: Hello, longlong tag one time, :P.
Hah, Thanks alot. Do study hard hor.

Sonny(T): Eugene ppl tired ma after basketball
Sonny(T): All the best Mummy
Ya! Thanks for explaining to EugeneTEE horz, He don't understand people want!

...: Girl. u must learn to be strong k? remember no matter what happen to u. u are not alone
cheer up.xD
Thanks alot. I know (: I'm growing right now. I know who you are. Teheeee!

eugene: wah anisia u so dao bo reply ppl's tag ah .. ur both sonny .. ^^
Also not your son. Haaa, You cheerup la k. Anisia is always here for you hor. Stay so near to eachother only, Just call or text me. I'll definitely be there for you!

Odell: 3
Loves sonny too

Germaine's: Hello
Hello (:

Goodnightz,
Can you hear it ?

MY BED IS CALLING ME :D

Ha, Happyseed, Happy already ?
Finally you saw a post without anything sadsad.
Cause i've look onto the brighter side what.
Dumbo!

-'- to you, Backstabber.

2010-01-24T04:45:00.006+08:00

Hasn't been updating recently.
Hate all this feeling.
F-c-u-k backstabber, seriously.
31st, stayed home all day.
Requested by Dad, For house-cleaning.
27th & 29th, Match against Newtown & huayi.
30th, Aunt's house for Grandma's birthday.

Huang, Drifted already.
I don't blame anyone for this.
Cause i've been really ready to accept all this.

I'm glad its been months.
I'm glad its going to be over real soon.
I'm glad we've been honest to eachother.
hope to see you real soon.
takecare.
Had a nice chat with you on the phone, really.

Girls, Its alright to lose to Jurong.
We'll have to put in extra effort for the upcoming match.
See you guys during training.
We all have tried our best.

Very lazy to update blog.
Tags will be replied in the nextupdate.

Show me your attitude, just continue only.

Fuckup.

2010-01-21T17:36:00.003+08:00

Everything is so fcukup today.
I don't owe anyone a explanation of my life.
I don't have to tell anyone what is happening to me !
Including my family.
I need a break, a runaway.
Somewhere far.
So now i hope the result will be positive-positive & positive.
I don't wanna stay here anymore.
I don't want to continue all this bullshit anymore.
All the things that happened,
It'll end oneday, realsoon.
-'-
Can't be bothered with people like this nowadays, seriously.
Accusing me?!
Find better ways then.
Shouting at me ?!
Continue, shout till your throat is gone.

Don't ever step into my life, let me tell you.
You're no one to scold me.
You're not @ home often at all, So what rights do you have to judge me ?
Why don't you reflect on yourself before saying me ?
Who is the one doing that instead ?

I can't/won't depend on anyone @ all.
I'll never console or be strong infront of anyone.
All i get back is, shitz.

Afraid, damn.

2010-01-19T20:04:00.003+08:00

Have no idea what had struck into me again.
Been back to the past, getting emotional very easily.
Showing people attitude easily again.
Am i really that stress ?
I don't know whats happening.
I got even stress after visting the doctor this afternoon.
I've to go for x-ray on the 1st of March.
What if there is really a tumour in my brain ?
What if those things the doctor said came true ?
What if those symptons really falls on me ?

So much things had been coming into my mind.

Maybe the wishlist i told Huang will have to be used real soon ?
): Takecare.

Will you treasure me ?
What if 1 day i'm really gone from you ?
What if one day i'm leaving earlier than you ?

Publish Post

Sighz.

Where are you when i needed you ?

2010-01-19T12:20:00.003+08:00

I can't stand the headache that has gotten into me since lastnight.
Its really killing me, its really painful ):
Sighz.
I wanna let go of everything.
I wanna quit for everything.
I felt that i really can't continue anymore.
School is totally strangling me.

Goodness, I've totally fallen sick.
Skipped school today.
There is training tmrw again.
I wonder if i should attend or just sit there to watch them train.
But friday is our match.
Falling sick @ this time is really totally so wrong.
Uh-Er, No idea what to do next.
I just know, I've to vist the doctor after i've bath.
Toodles.

Filled with anger.
Going to head to polyclinic myself.
):

Decided, Determine.

2010-01-17T15:30:00.004+08:00

Busy schedule from tomorrow onwards.
Training on every mon, wed, fri.
This friday will be starting our first match against Jurong.
Not a simple one, The hardest team in our draw.
Both team will not have any coach to guide them on that day.
Cause we have the same coach.
So teacher in charge will be taking over.
If i'm not wrong, we're playing at 2.45pm.
Ok, Heading to vist Ahxin.
I hate weekdays ): Cause we've to go school early-in-the-morning.
saddening.
Byebyeeeeeee!

2.55am,
Couldn't fall asleep again ):
Have to turn in real soon, eyes are really closing.
Let me summary up those few days back.

Friday, skipped training.

Argued with Pek during school.
Home to rest.
Met Huang & Sim @ lot to have Yamiyoghurt & dinner.
Bus to Teckwhye.
Cried so badly, kept asking myself so much question.
Needed a walk by myself.
1am, Drank & drunk.
Totally cover up my sorrowness.
Home, 4.30am.

Saturday,

Woke up at 8.30am, prepared & was late.
Fetched & reached school to collect thing.
Phay saw me & asked me why do i look so ' not-okay '.
Back to meet Huang &co.
12.30pm, woodlands to return thing & head to amk.
Home around 4pm, Cckcc to ball.
Till night.
12am, fell asleep.

Sunday, Woke up @ 1pm.

Home & bath.
Prepared,
Met Huang &co.
Ahxin's house & visted him.
Lot1 to have our dinner.
Ave5 to slack.
Sim helepd me cut my fingernails.
Homesweethome.
Mac with brother.
Met them @ macdonald.
Sent me home.

Training tmrw, hope i can get over it.
Not just training, but things that are going to happened inbetween training.
Hope i'll bring up my courage & face the truth.
Wed, R flying off to NZ for 2 weeks.
Hope everything will go smoothly.
Today is the 17th, did not receieve a single call.
Doubt you remember us/me.
Ok, I can't stop yawning.
Goodnightz.
Will do a real proper post soon.

Its just so not possible to replace you with someone else.
I'm not lying, I'm not fooling.
Yet all i get was just all the same things over & over again.
Repeating yet repeating.
When will you ever change ?
When will we ever change ?
isn't the world turning everyday ?

I miss your voice.

2010-01-15T14:32:00.002+08:00

its 2.30pm.
bet his already out from there.
I won't pin any hopes on waiting for any call.
Cause i doubt he knows my newnumber.
I think there is someone who are waiting for today more than me.
Today is just a normal day to me.
Its just like yesterday.
I won't think too much, nor get affected by you.
Today, you asked someone to pass message to me again.
Once i heard it, tears rolled.
It really did affected, it really did hurt.
Its just like you bringing me up & throwing me away again.
Sighz.
Perhaps after listening to what you said,
Today marks the end of the mind-game.
Every morning, i do the same thing.
I walked pass & kept looking & see if you were there.
In the past,
I pass them coins to asks you to call me.
I would keep your phone for you during weekdays.
We will talk & laugh,
We'll hide from all the teachers.
I would get angry @ you for breaking promises.
You'll get angry @ me for going out till late.
You'll get worry for me @ not reaching home on time.
But now, I aint the one you should be worrying anymore, its not me anymore.

Wishes all the best to mehmeh.
Misses (:

What happened ?
No respond, no nothing.
I don't know if you woke up & went for work not.
Or you left your phone @ home again ?
You're making me worry, again.

Ok, I'm off from this site.
Will update perhap later after i'm done with my Mp4 thingy.
Too much photos has to be deleted inside.
Tonight its the day i'm waiting,
I wanna be drunk, i wanna have a clear-thought.
I just want to have a night without thinking of you, thats all.
Huanghuang & simsim, Lets drink to the max tonight.
Loves.

I'll be returning back to the past, to search for my ownself.

2010-01-14T23:26:00.004+08:00

I've to stop myself, stop myself from thinking of you.
I've to learn, i've to start learning.
I can never be so stubborn anymore.
I just want to get rid of your image, wandering around in me.
I can never be stuck in the world of yours.
You belong to someone else, not me.
Someone is so happy that you'll be out tomorrow.
Cherish every minute & second when you're with her.
Don't have to bother about me anymore,
I'll be fine & totally good by myself.
Just forget about me & accept someone else.
I would rather see you being with someone else who will treat you better,
than letting the both of us stuck in the past.
):
though this is not what i really want,
but I've to learn, learn to give up & let go.

I kept reminding myself just now,
I kept repeating the same word on the paper.
Give up, let go, move on & the list goes on ..
I've seen the truth, saw the light,
I knew it all along.
All this was just mixing me up & leading me to the wrong path.
You'll not be the topic in my world.
You'll not be the lead of my life.
I just want to be Me, I just want to turn back to the old-me.
I'll not let you continue, I'll change myself back.
No matter how hard its going to be, I'll never give up.

I'm seeking & looking for myself, on the way.

Like what i've said, Ignorance is bliss.
I can't let small obstacles affect me & makes me wants you back.

I'm turning in right now.
School tmr, training tmr, night-session tmr.
It'll be a nongnong day for me.
There is still flagday on Saturday, I've to survive all by myself.
Tmrw i get to see Chewchew during training.
She reminded me to attend training, cause she is coming back.
hopefully she will be there on 22nd.
Feel so odd without her in the team, really odd.
Goodnightz.

Failed to plan, plan to fail.

I own a orange watch.

2010-01-14T09:50:00.005+08:00

Private post on livejournal.
Link had been remove away from my blog.
It will only for private.

I'm in Cpa lab again. Realizing i've been having alot of computer lessons eh. I just realize after reading my blogpost. My updation of blog has increase alot. hah.
I'm going online right now, And i'm really stress about Cpa coursework ): Just now was late for school by 1minute. Thanks to 67. Stuck @ a busstop for like 5minutes. Took up everyone's time. Saddening. I can't be late anymore, or else i'll have to serve detention.
Just now all basketballer had to go & see the principal. Immediately ran to the toilet to have a change of my attire. lol,
Finding myself so dumb ): After the talk, went to the toilet to change my socks back to my own socks. Really hate wearing school socks, So uncomfortable. 25minutes more to recess, feeling so hungry now. Slept at 2am lastnight, Couldn't bring myself to wake @ 7am today. Though 2 person morning called me, Once i hanged up, i went back to sleep. I'm really a pig.
Jon say i should be called as a pig. Omgomgomgg, I don't want k.
Hehee, There training tomorrow.
And tomorrow will marks 1 more week to go for match.
Tomorrow Odell sonny going for their first match, Hopefully they will put in their best.
Took the same number as him, cause he asked me to do so ):
Okok, I'm going to continue my course work already.

該怎麼不怕孤單

每天想著你已變成習慣

一直幻想你在我身邊

慢慢的我已經離不開

而我終於明白了

I wish i could hear you telling me again, whispering into my ears.

Telling me how much you love me, how much you miss me.

Yesterday, when i came back to school,

I was glancing, looking around, hoping to see you by chance.

But didn't, & i did not bother to look anymore.

Today when i'm using computer, i was so surprised i did not went to your blog.

I did not typed your url.

I'm afraid of reading those stuffs that i should not read.

We were ' once ' so sweet.

Now, it all had changed.

huang, yellow.

2010-01-14T00:50:00.003+08:00

Today had a quarrelled.
You told me, You've no idea whats left in our friendship.
It kept me wondering, pondering, so much.
I couldn't find an answer.
I've also been thinking & thinking.
Maybe we really had start losing grip of our strings.
The trust starts to get its way out.
I wanna try to find a way, a path to look for everything back.
I don't know if its too late or i can never get it back, anymore.
I know i'm not like the before, anymore.
I know i've changed alot.
I didn't want this as well, i also wished i could be like before.
But someone changed me so much, it just causes me too much problems.
I couldn't handle it well.
I didn't share, i didn't say, i kept quiet.
I don't know who to turn to, i don't know how to put everything into words.
Just read from your first post to last post.
Those that spec related to our sistership, i miss the time when you still hadn't went over to Thai.
Looks like things had really changed when you're back.
I did tried my best, to put up my smile, to be like crack jokes like before.
I hope things get back to the past.
I'll definitely be there with you forever & when you're down,
I'll hold onto you & tell you everything is going to be fine.
If no one is going to be the light of your life,
I'll be your light, I'll guide you along.
I promise.

Tired & vexed.

2010-01-13T15:30:00.002+08:00

I'm back home.
Going to prepare real soon, have to go victoria theatre.
Will be back home around 11pm - 12pm ):
Any kindhearted willing to fetch me from school later ?
Hahhhh.
And i guess i'll be busy from nextweek onwards.
Monday, Wed & Fri - Training, 6pm.
Tue & Thur - Extra classes till 6.30pm.
I wonder how am i going to survive from this busy schedule ):
Match is starting for us on next friday.
Which means, I'll be extra tired, extremely tired already.
I wish to skip training, but i can't.
I'm slower than the rest by 1 year, I've to put in extra effort.
I wish to quit school, But i can't.
Or else i'll have no future.
So much in mind, yet i can't seems to have the strength to continue doing it.
I wish to give up, but i can't.
I wish i did not retain during sec2 ): And now i might be in sec5 or ite.
I'm so slow, so slow.
Can't follow the pace.
I don't know why i can't give full attention in class @ all.
I don't seems interested in math.
Though i understand the formula, but i don't seems to try on those sum.
Enough of ranting ):
I need to go bath & meet huanghuang for my Yami-yoghurt!
Yami-yoghurt is totally lovelove.

Byebyeeeeeeeee.

2010-01-13T08:46:00.004+08:00

Lastnight slept from 5.30pm till this morning. Like a happy only! 12hours of sleep. But still i overslept for school today, Daddy fetched me to school & Fetched huanghuang @ interchange. School & assembly. Spot check for the whole secondary4 & 5 girls. I almost got off safety. But sad to say, i'm still being checked for hair & skirt and socks. I got caught from head to toe. Yawnyawn, Who cares ? lol. Dismissal at 2pm & i'm going home to bath & meet huanghuang for lunch @ longjohnsliver, her idea. Tehehhee. Today will be a longlong day to go. I'll not be going to school tomorrow, cause there will be another spotcheck. Mc-day!
Than friday got training again.

Does it matters to me anymore ?

That night, Saturday night, you gave me a call.

Telling me you did not contact them @ all.

But now, I realize you'll be meeting them when you're out.

What a bravo-lie.

What a obvious lie, isn't it ?

I've heard enough, from today onwards.

I'll shut my ears whenever i hear your things.

I don't know how to trust your words, anymore.

I choose my road ?

You asked me to give up & find someone better.

Now you tell me all those stuffs ?

And now you insist that i choose those road myself ?

I hoped that night i sent that long text to you, you'll reply me truthfully.

I really miss having heart-to-heart talk with you.

I miss you bringing me out for shopping.

I miss you reminding me to eat & caring for my gastric problems.

I miss you meeting me in the morning & go for breakfast.

When can we have all this again ?

I know i've been texting lesser & lesser with J.

I'm sorry k, I'm really tired & lazy to use my phone to msg.

Very pekche when i need to msg when in school.

Always got typo & stuffs.

Will meet you on Thursday k, Tonight can't meet you.

I wish, I hope, i want a bigbig&hugehuge stitch.

School againnnnn.

2010-01-12T12:57:00.004+08:00

Now i'm having Ebs lesson again. We've to do survery using Microsoft words. Like why can't they just create the website & give it to us & We'll print it out. Sighz. Today stupid things happened again. Heard something during art lesson again. Confused, Frustrated, Angered.
Today Pe, Ran 10rounds of basketball court, i guess i'm going to really become tan ): Recess with T-Erzi, He waited for me during PE & after recess he texted me. Telling me he put money into my wallet & asked me to spend it wisely. Omg, I didn't even realize it & i don't remember when did he put it inside. I've sucha devoted & good sonny. Today fall asleep During english class, when its ending. I really tried my best to keep myself awake ): Cannot blame me.
Later heading over to Lot1 to get my stationary, with Huang accompanys.
After lot, I think i'm going home for a nap ): Too tired, And my parent will not be home today till late. Wondering what plan am i going to have, How am i going to rot my day away.
Tomorrow have to go Victoria Theatre, have to reach by school @ 5.30pm.
But we are dismissed @ 2pm, By the time i reach home, it might be 3pm - 4pm already.
I don't even have the time to take a nap. And i guess i'll be reaching home around 11pm - 12am.
Saddening, I need to replenish all my sleep.

And Jonjonnn, I know you'll be reading this.
Hello! Don't sad after getting caught k. Nexttime remember to wear your office-pants lor.
Tehehhhee. Don't always emoemo la, You more jialat than me sia.
Cheers!

Yesterday, after recieving & knowing everything.

I told myself to be determine & learn to give up.

But today, you asked someone to come & tell me,

You still miss & love me alot.

Should i feel happy or sad for myself ?

I don't know.

Why is it when i'm on the verge of letting go, you're treating me this way ?

I don't understand you @ all.

Awhile you wear a mask, Awhile you change.

Complicated, Complications, Confused & confusion.

Now i'm going to think so much, all over again.

You asked me to move on, find someone better.

Now you seems to be stopping me & asked me not to do that.

The fact is, i can't accept the fact that you've changed so much ):
Can you tell me why have you make sucha big changes ?!
): ): ): ): ): ): ):

SIGH.

Prove to me ?

I'm not someone who can trust someone easily.

Till i really feel it, understand & feel safe with you, i'll trust you.

But for the time-being, too much complications happening.

Thanks for being there for me.

Thanks for believing that i can move on in my life.

Thanks, RR.

Don't feel gay k, Hahaaaaaaaa.

How i wish i've a big&huge stitch to cuddle on.

I remembered that day, i saw that bigbig stitch.

Its so lovely, so sweet ):
I wish i could own that, I wish i could have it.

Its even bigger in size than me.

Yak, i'll giveup.

2010-01-11T18:41:00.003+08:00

Training just now was really slack.
Been hiding myself in shade today, thus didn't get sun burnt.
Had a game after training & suddenly ..
I stopped myself, I controlled myself.
Ignorance is bliss, i kept telling & repeating it to myself.
I gave no glance, I gave no peek.
Even when T was standing beside them, i swear i didn't even look @ him.
I wish i won't see his flirty look ):
But he really grew bigger size, he gain fats or muscle, i don't know.
But i guess it will not be any of my concern anymore.
Unfortunately, Dad came to fetch me.
& he was standing @ the slope with T & etc.
He shouted my name,
Once, i ignored.
Twice, i ignored.
Thrice, I reacted by giving a smile & walked off.
Get into my dad's car and wondering what wrong with me,
Why am i making myself so miserable.
No idea why, why is life so unfair.
But i since i could have done till like this, I guess I've really thought it over.
To let go slowly & move on quietly.
That's my phrase & it'll always be my sentence.

After that ' tag ' you've made in my tag board,
I guess I'm determine to follow your words & give up.
Since you mention in my tag board that you don't worth it,
And asking me to find a better guy,
I've gotten all the answers.
Its impossible for us to get back together again.
I was so surprised to see someone nameless tagging me.
But after reading that typing, I know & I've a feeling that its you.
No, I mean, I definitely know its you.
Last night when i was coughing so badly,
Makes me think back,
There was once, I fallen sick & was coughing so badly.
That i kept visting the toilet to vomit.
You were there continuously accompanying me without fail.
You tuck in me in to bed & make sure i sleep.
You fed me with medicine, you cook me things to eat when I'm hungry.
Everynight when we sleep, We would switch on songs to sleep.
Cause i can't sleep soundly when there no song to accompany me.
): Sighz, Now all this had disappeared & its different already.

Hereby, I wish you all the best.
I won't tag you in your blog anymore, I won't disturb your love-life anymore.
You can do anything you want, You can flirt anyone you like.
I'm no one to give comments or be jealous.
Goodbye, Three-nine.
I know you like pink, Thus i can only find this light-pink.
Toodles.

I miss the old you.

2010-01-11T11:35:00.004+08:00

Currently stuck in Cpa's lab. Mr Simon & Mrs Yip didn't come today, So coincidence right.
Both of our Cpa teacher did not come & 2 relief teacher come to take us & brought us here. Honestly I'm feeling very tired right now, I feel like skipping training later on. but i told myself match is nearing & i promised Pek not to disappoint the team again, thisyear. School going end at 1 hour & 20 minutes more. But yet we've to go over to the hall for the O'level result at 1.45pm.
Don't wish to attend that thing, Cause i don't wanna see someone @ all. Definitely going to get very F-up later on. Hopes i won't get in eye-contact with that person eh. Just now had Art for the first 2 hours, Drew my Geisha. Kinda love it except for the eye , Mrsong says she will help me amend & change alittle bit. Hopefully its still my Original art-piece. First time putting in effort to draw. Haaaaa. After Art was English, English was alittle bored, cause its always talk & talk & talk. Than Timothy, Ryan & Shiyu was waiting for me outside class & we headed to Canteen for our breakfast cum lunch. Dang bloated ): And school got tell Cheese tofu seh. Just now Huanghuang brought it, But i didn't try. Busy M-ing & talking to Ryan. Today C.wawa damn suay. Hair got cut off & Phone got confiscated. And C.wawa hair got cut till so unbalance & so ugly. But still my C.wawa after all la. So don't be so angry & sad anymore k.

Around 25minutes more to end of lesson. Than it'll be Ebs lesson, A time for me to take a nap & sleep. Too tired, My eyes are really tired. I'm afraid later I'll faint during training. Ok, alittle too exaggerating.

I kept repeating to myself,

Stopping myself from asking C.wawa about him.

Stop myself from thinking of him.

Its really time to move on, Its time to let go of all past.

Though its filled with beautiful & scary moments with you,

But i really did treasured every second.

Though i wish i could have another chance to spend with you,

But i'll not have anymore wishful thinking by myself anymore.

Cause i know once you've become so flirty,

You'll not change back to the past-you.

I've to grow up,

But the first time to growing up is,

Forget about the past.

No matter how i tried forgetting & let go.

I know i'll never be able to forget the person i once loved.

I told Huang that day, She told me to stop thinking of him.

I told her, I'll stop thinking of him, Unless nyzm doesn't exist in this world.

I'll try my best, no matter what.

I'll not give up on trying & on myself.

I remembered just now i told someone, all guys were Jerks.

Asked me back why & is * also one ?

I say i don't know.

* Told me * will prove & time will speak.

Hopefully time will really speak & show me that i make a wrong judgement on guys.

):

And mehmehhhh, You overslept for school is it !?!
Never msg me in the morning, I also don't dare to text you.

See this, do let me know alright.

I'm afraid you're still sleeping & you're phone tone will disturb you from sleeping.

Hope you faster get into your private school horz.

AND NOW 1 SAD THING, i can't sleep during english lesson ):
Cause we're doing oru english lesson in the CPA lab & the table is so not nice to sleep.

Though there aircon, but the table so small & the computer is blocking.

Sighsighsigh, I want to sleep.

Should i skip training later or not, I'm still considering seh.

Ok, I'm going to play Viwawa Mahjong with Boxun & tzeyi already.

HAHA, hopefully i win money on Viwawa.

Tehehhee!

Pissed offffffff.

2010-01-10T17:47:00.002+08:00

Honestly, I'm starting to get pissed offfff.
You know i hate it, Yet still doing it over & over again.

4.07am.

I'm still not asleep yet.
I'm very tired, but i keep thinking & thinking, wondering if i should hold on or not.
I got sunburnt very badly on Friday during training.
Till now, it only started to peel off.
And it happens to be on my face, I don't dare to go to school tmr.
I'm deadmeat.
Plus, i'm having a serious cough & headache.
i guess i'm going to skip school tmr & head over to polyclinic to vist the doctor.
been so long since i went to have my MC taken.
And i told myself never to go to school if i don't feel like.
But this time round its different, I'm really feeling sick.
lastnight headed to Illuma for movie ' Old-dogs ' totally laugh my lungs out.
After that, while we were walking, i had a fall.
Did not cry, so proud of myself.
Than continued walking & i cough till i vomit.
Omgomg ): Just now i also keep coughing, my brother asked me what happen.
I think i'm going to die sooon ! lol.
Ok, i'm going to take a rest & see how am i later on.
If i'm still feeling headache, I'll not be attending school later on.
Though i really wish to go & pray to see someone.
But its time to move on, Anisia.

Goodnightz.

F-T-N , get it ?!

2010-01-08T18:59:00.003+08:00

I wish i could make a great escape.
I did not manage to bring myself up to the form.
I pulled a face the whole day.
Even Pek asked me am i alright.
Sighz, How much had you affected me this time round again ?

I wished i could stop your images flashing through me.
I hope for so much things, but i know, its all impossible.
I won't dare to wish for anything consisting the both of us anymore.
Its only making me wondering so much.
All the best to you & your audi or P or E.
You've so much uncountable flings.
I'm tired of listening to all the rumours & stories of you ):

Could we have a ' stop ' button ?

posted on 8january.

Heading out soon.

For what, Shit ?

2010-01-07T23:07:00.003+08:00

This will be the 1st time i'm blogging so many times in a shot, in one day.
Feel like i've become the 2nd ChewZiqun.
Ok, I'm being very random.
Just now another message came in.
It stated that ' he ' wanted to see me so badly,
So he told so many people that he can't get any detention inside.
I was asking myself so many countless of question.
I wanted to laugh, i wanted to cry.
I'm going to sleep right now, Having school + training tmr.
Like a tired only.
Goodnightz.

I miss you.
I'm afraid after i've let go everything,
You'll be gone from my life ):
I'm afraid time will not wait for me.
I'm afraid you'll leave before i've truly settled down.
Sighz.

12.40am,
I couldn't fall asleep.
Alot of things really had been flashing through my mind.
N , I've heard more & more things bout you.
I really don't know how much more my ears & mind can stuff in.
Awhile Audi, Awhile P , Another while E.
One by one keeps appearing.
How many do you want to cheat ? how many do you want to play ?
Why are you giving all of them false hopes ?
Why are you playing merry-go-round with them ?
Do you feel happy doing so ?
When i heard bout that ' doll ' , i ignored.
Than i heard about P , I tolerate.
Than now, E appeared, Gekxim.
I finally agree with the phrase ' Ignorance is bliss '
I guess, i won't want to hear any of your things anymore.
Someone told me to concern &care about you more, to make you feel much more better.
But after doing so, So many people appeared.
So many things happened.
I guess i did the wrong thing, i did it @ the wrong time.
You've totally changed.
I wish i could clarify things with you.
But i don't have the courage to face you, because,
I don't want hear your heart telling me how many flings you've or how many boats are you stepping on.
I believed , ignorance is bliss.

I'll really be fine, real fine.
Don't worry about me, friends.
A few days is needed for me.
Afterwards, I'll not bother about this matter anymore.
I hope it will not bother me too much, it will not affect me too much.
I want to graduate PEACEFULLY from this school.

Tomorrow will be having a heart-to-heart talk with Buddy.
Like a finally.
I miss talking & pouring everything out to him.
I don't want to have nightmare during tmr training.
I don't want them to have games-time ):
I don't want to see him & his flirty heart.
Goodnights, My feel had came, My bed is calling for me.

I'll let go, slowly.
I'll move on, quietly.

2010-01-07T18:02:00.003+08:00

Blame myself for being sucha busybody.
After answering that phonecall.
I went to click-click alittle more.
I realize so much things, I found out more things.
From that moment, I told myself,
You ain't worth it anymore, i won't care bout your stuffs anymore.
When i see you, i'll not even glance @ you.
I'll take back my words when i was on the phone with you just now.
I said ' See you when you're out '
Now i hope, I won't have the chance to see you @ all !
I don't want to see you , I don't want you to give me all the nonsense.
I've removed everything.
I remember on my msn grouping, You were still belonging in my ' love's one. '
But now, i guess you've to be moved away.
I'm sorry for moving you away even from my heart.
I realize you don't even worth me thinking of.
Huang told me not to be affected by alittle flashback.
I went to my folder & look @ our photos all over again, We had so much photos.
We love to camwhore so much, remember ?
You always wake up early to head down to buy my food, remember ?
When i'm sick, you stop me from doing this & that & make sure i fall asleep before you do?
When i'm bored, We'll head to rent disc to watch.
We've soooo much things in mind, we've so much arguements.
We've so much disagreement.
Today i took out my fullscape, i fliped through.
I saw all the letters you secretly wrote in my paper.
I wrote ' i miss you '.
I remember that was a part, you said ' we'll move on together '
You promised to give me a bottles of saga-seeds.
But after 2months, i still had not recieved it.
Remember the Rose you gave me ?
The bottle you gave me & asks me to read 1 per day ?
I've completed reading it.
The rose is still with me, though its dead.
I remember i left my clothes with you & you took it to wear.
The way you told me, make me laugh like crazy.
You were so cute @ that point of time.
But after days & months, everything changed.
We started getting so much disagreement, We started getting hands-on eachother.
The fight starts getting bigger & bigger.
Eventually we walked of eachother, and its a breakup.

If i were given a chance, i would turn time back.
But i know, its totally impossible.
Why had you change till like this ?
Why are you going round to fool & play ?
I don't understand what make you change to this way.
Was it me ? Was it them ? Or was it ' that-thing ' ?
I wish you could be back like the past ):

Huang told me :

[c=19][c=#FF71B8]♥Shiyu[/c] [c=#DF135A]fall for your smile[/c] says:
come on,
remember how he once hurt you
and you'll not want him back
dont forget the times he shouted at you
the times he lied
the times he pushed and hit you.
the times you guys argue
the times he always thought he's right
the times he dont give in
the times you had to go through so much
the pain you went through cos of him
不要因为一时的心软而想要他回到你的身边好吗？
if you really had thought about it,
if you really know its impossible,
If you really came to an answer, leave him or hold him.
Everything has to come to an end be it good or not.
Dont be so silly anymore.
Don't trust their words,
Feel it yourself.
Sweet talks, everybody can do it,
who hadn't sweet talk before.
Right?

Sighz, I wish i don't have to make any choice.
Why does everything comes at one go & leaves @ another moment ?

Its just those simple things you had done to hurt me so badly.

Anisia

Once a bitch, forever a bitch.

Forever 18th.

This is for you.

我想你已表现的非常明白, 我懂我也知道 你没有舍不得

Rui, Cai, Huang.

Family love.

Im missing this bitch right now.

Do you miss me?

This is how you hurt me.

Momento against the flow.

Please stay tune.

You've betrayed this.

Nightmares can kill.

No longer a schoolgirl.

Pangyaode.

Happy Birthday, Gan-nina.

Catch me if i'm gonna fall.

Happy birthday, September babies.

Speechless.

Clement's big18th.

Prawning (Y)

Nightlife.

我真的爱上了。

Flyaway.

History repeated.

Bottom, right-second.

If you're unhappy, come on.

Tired.

It marks the day & the past.

Girls.

Photospam.

一千個傷心的理由

Updated.

我不想那么痛苦的去想了

The pain you left.

无法形容今天的心情.心痛，谁知 ?

就算心情不好,不开心, 都不可以显示出来.这种日子几时才会结束.

Haiiiiiiiiiii !

无论是开心还是难过我的爱一直不变

You always say, as long as i am happy.

Its the impossiblity we're thinking of.

Not understanding you.

Repeating it to myself.

If only happiness is everywhere.

Don't make decisions when u're angry ; Don't make promises when u're happy.

Anisia is UN-HAPPY.

decided, leave.

Journey towards life.

School a struggle.

I'm always here.

Runaway.

Campcampcamp.

I wish i could describe the fear.

Fcuk them, seriously.

Lets welcome back.

Moving.

Lazyyyy.

Surprised by you.

Nothing special, V's day.

Tags replied.

Life is just so realistic.

Drunkard.

Jabjab.

Why am i still looking around for you .

I'll always be there & never drift.

Twister.

Beees attackkkk !

Stay-homed.

Drunkard.

Distracted.

B'girls.

Cpa lesson, boring.

Goodbye.

-'- to you, Backstabber.

Fuckup.

Afraid, damn.

Where are you when i needed you ?

Decided, Determine.

I miss your voice.

我想你已表现的非常明白, 我懂我也知道你没有舍不得

无法形容今天的心情.
心痛，谁知 ?

就算心情不好,不开心, 都不可以显示出来.
这种日子几时才会结束.